Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Verse of Maydogma: Tournament Edition
Tales after the First Weekend
{*Cough, Cough*} Sorry, I’m choking on some chalk…
Hold on, I think UCLA just missed another shot…
I’ve FINALLY learned my lesson: Never, NEVER pick Wake Forest for the Sweet Sixteen!! They could have Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, and 3 Mythical Gods playing for them and somehow they’d still end up losing to West Bumblefuck State in the second round…
Speaking of which, fuck you, ACC. That’s what I get for backing BC and Florida State. I officially apologize to the Big East for ever thinking the ACC was better this year. Please take me back, baby…
Quick Quote: “You thrive when you can, then when rotate up into that (difficult schedule), can you survive?" – Mike Brey
Seriously Mike, STOP BLAMING THE SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!! You weren’t that good and that’s the end of it. Just lose already so I don’t vomit at the sight of a “2009 NIT Champion” banner…
Maydog’s Top 3 2009 Teams that can Go to Hell, Under the radar Edition:
3. Chattanooga - A 56 pt loss? What idiot thought that game had a chance to be close? Oh yeah, me...
2. Ohio State- Thanks for making the MAAC think they’re a power conference.
1. Cal St North – Thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
Good for American…In fact, I’ll go this far: I’d be more proud of what American did (lead Villanova with 9 minutes left) than EVER winning an NIT game. You hear that, Brey?
Overrated Conference of the Year: With Apologies to the ACC and the Mountain West, The Pac-10 takes home the “What hell was I thinking when I thought this conference was awesome?” award. Arizona St, UCLA, Cal, Washington all putt up a lot of stinkers…
Arizona’s run settles it: Always pick the ‘team that didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win a few games...
It took the awesome power of Bob Huggins to counteract the awesome power of West Virginia. Bravo, drunkie…
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I think I’d give it all up to go back and be the Syracuse Orange. Coolest mascot ever and it’s really not even close.
{*Cough, Cough*} Sorry, I’m choking on some chalk…
Hold on, I think UCLA just missed another shot…
I’ve FINALLY learned my lesson: Never, NEVER pick Wake Forest for the Sweet Sixteen!! They could have Chris Paul, Tim Duncan, and 3 Mythical Gods playing for them and somehow they’d still end up losing to West Bumblefuck State in the second round…
Speaking of which, fuck you, ACC. That’s what I get for backing BC and Florida State. I officially apologize to the Big East for ever thinking the ACC was better this year. Please take me back, baby…
Quick Quote: “You thrive when you can, then when rotate up into that (difficult schedule), can you survive?" – Mike Brey
Seriously Mike, STOP BLAMING THE SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!! You weren’t that good and that’s the end of it. Just lose already so I don’t vomit at the sight of a “2009 NIT Champion” banner…
Maydog’s Top 3 2009 Teams that can Go to Hell, Under the radar Edition:
3. Chattanooga - A 56 pt loss? What idiot thought that game had a chance to be close? Oh yeah, me...
2. Ohio State- Thanks for making the MAAC think they’re a power conference.
1. Cal St North – Thanks for scaring the crap out of me.
Good for American…In fact, I’ll go this far: I’d be more proud of what American did (lead Villanova with 9 minutes left) than EVER winning an NIT game. You hear that, Brey?
Overrated Conference of the Year: With Apologies to the ACC and the Mountain West, The Pac-10 takes home the “What hell was I thinking when I thought this conference was awesome?” award. Arizona St, UCLA, Cal, Washington all putt up a lot of stinkers…
Arizona’s run settles it: Always pick the ‘team that didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win a few games...
It took the awesome power of Bob Huggins to counteract the awesome power of West Virginia. Bravo, drunkie…
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I think I’d give it all up to go back and be the Syracuse Orange. Coolest mascot ever and it’s really not even close.
Labels: 2009, College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Friday, March 13, 2009
A Verse of Maydogma: Mike Brey owes me $45 Edition
Tales in the afterglow of Syracuse-UConn
Top 7 Things I loved about last night’s Syracuse-UConn game 6OT Classic:
1) 2 extremely talented, fundamentally sound, teams hungry to win, not giving an inch to the other team until it was clear past midnight and into the 6th overtime. I.E., the EXACT opposite of the ND-West Virginia shit show.
2) Both team’s lineups kept getting shorter (height-wise) as the game progressed. Loved it.
3) A spectacular officiating performance, a HUGE rarity in basketball.
4) Paul Harris’s performance (good and bad) throughout the game, especially when he was blocked on the clearpath layoff at the end of the 4th OT (hilarious and dramatic), and in the 6th (?) OT, when he didn’t have enough energy to dunk the ball but still scored.
(Plus, wow, 22 rebounds! West Virginia had that many in the first 5 minutes vs. Notre Dame!)
5) Due to thebandwagon jumpers local flair of both universities, the Garden was rocking after every basket, adding to the drama. What a crowd, another rarity these days.
6) Gaining new respect for Tabeet and how much he can change a game. That still doesn’t mean he was POY though. But he is UConn's BIG advantage and the key to their Final Four run. Of Course, I thought the same thing last year.
7) Jim Boeheim’s facial expressions. Put this game over the top.
(On a personal note, this was my favorite, random “Perversely enjoyable television experience, but only because I could care less who wins” sporting event since the Penguins-Flyers 5OT classic in 2000. During that one, I sat down during the third period to watch “just the end of the game.” SIX periods later, after so many close calls, Keith Primeau scored the game winner in the 5th overtime. Same thing here: I tuned in at 11:30 to see the ending. Just ending. 2 hours later, Syracuse finally pulls away, and I go to sleep thinking “Thank god that wasn’t one of my teams; I’d be having a coronary.?”)
With that said, and with all the praise that Syracuse is due, I can’t WAIT to pick against an over seeded Syracuse team next week. 14-3 upset, here we come…
********************************************************************
Other BET thoughts:
Get outta here, the year I rename the BET into “The Pitt Invitational,” Pitt loses its first game for the first time in years. Get outta here,that shit NEVER happens.
Does any team actually want to be a #1 seed? Pitt? UConn? Oklahoma? Anyone?
Seriously, Brey, it was 17-2 BEFORE I EVEN FUCKING SAT DOWN!!!! What a disgrace…
Good for DePaul. (That still doesn’t mean they deserved to be in the BET.)
Ah crap, West Virginia is looking frisky again. Somebody get Bob Huggins another whiskey.
So let me get this straight: Last year, we couldn’t go five minutes without some announcer bringing up Notre Dame throwing KMac out of school for smoking pot. But 6 OTs pass without a single mention of the women-beaters / laptop stealers on UConn and Syracuse?
Speaking of which, move over, Costas and McNamara. I have a new “Least favorite person who when to Syracuse.” Devendorf, be thy name. I can’t wait for your 1-19 Round 1 shooting performance, douchebag. 10 bucks says he celebrated by buying some roofies in Times Square at 2 in the morning
Georgetown does NOT deserve an NIT bid over Saint Johns.
That game winner for ‘Nova rolled around the rim JUST a little too long for my comfort. Thank god it fell.
Little thing that pissed me off last night: In the 4th overtime, announcer Sean McDonough brings up the ND-GT 4OT classic from 2002…and claimed Georgetown won!!! And he never corrected himself. And he would never be called out for it because it happened at twelve fucking thirty! Well, I’m calling you out for it. I was watching that game in 2002: Georgetown lost. Get your facts right, a-hole.
It came to my attention that some readers (ha!) had some problems with my comments about West Virginia this week. To which I respond: If you don’t want to get made fun of for eating raccoon meat and having sex with your siblings, stop eating raccoon meat and having sex with your siblings. It’s that easy…
Good job by Marquette, getting off the snide and obliterating SJU. Marquette would be a great sleeper pick right now if they hadn’t gotten injuried.
Mike, you were out-rebounded about 6 million to 5 in the first ten minutes!!! Come on!!
I won’t put Providence in the tourney just yet. To many bubble team + bad RPI/SOS numbers + looking shaky vs. DePaul + blown out by Lousville = Won’t be safe until Sunday night.
If the Big Ten gets 8 (of 11) teams in the NCAA’s, I’m gonna throw out. Seriously, did you see that UConn/Cuse game last night? Could any of the Big Ten teams play like that?
(Now watch the Big Ten get 4 Final Four teams.)
Excerpt from a future conversation:
Grandson: Grandpa, tell me about the year Notre Dame started the season ranked in the Top Ten.
Me: Sure, sonny. 2009, what a great year that was. Notre Dame won the NIT that year…
Grandson: Really?
Me: Yep…
{Pause}
Grandson: That’s pretty fucking pathetic.
(Let’s pray for a quick exit next week to prevent this scenario from actually happening.)
Top 7 Things I loved about last night’s Syracuse-UConn game 6OT Classic:
1) 2 extremely talented, fundamentally sound, teams hungry to win, not giving an inch to the other team until it was clear past midnight and into the 6th overtime. I.E., the EXACT opposite of the ND-West Virginia shit show.
2) Both team’s lineups kept getting shorter (height-wise) as the game progressed. Loved it.
3) A spectacular officiating performance, a HUGE rarity in basketball.
4) Paul Harris’s performance (good and bad) throughout the game, especially when he was blocked on the clearpath layoff at the end of the 4th OT (hilarious and dramatic), and in the 6th (?) OT, when he didn’t have enough energy to dunk the ball but still scored.
(Plus, wow, 22 rebounds! West Virginia had that many in the first 5 minutes vs. Notre Dame!)
5) Due to the
6) Gaining new respect for Tabeet and how much he can change a game. That still doesn’t mean he was POY though. But he is UConn's BIG advantage and the key to their Final Four run. Of Course, I thought the same thing last year.
7) Jim Boeheim’s facial expressions. Put this game over the top.
(On a personal note, this was my favorite, random “Perversely enjoyable television experience, but only because I could care less who wins” sporting event since the Penguins-Flyers 5OT classic in 2000. During that one, I sat down during the third period to watch “just the end of the game.” SIX periods later, after so many close calls, Keith Primeau scored the game winner in the 5th overtime. Same thing here: I tuned in at 11:30 to see the ending. Just ending. 2 hours later, Syracuse finally pulls away, and I go to sleep thinking “Thank god that wasn’t one of my teams; I’d be having a coronary.?”)
With that said, and with all the praise that Syracuse is due, I can’t WAIT to pick against an over seeded Syracuse team next week. 14-3 upset, here we come…
********************************************************************
Other BET thoughts:
Get outta here, the year I rename the BET into “The Pitt Invitational,” Pitt loses its first game for the first time in years. Get outta here,that shit NEVER happens.
Does any team actually want to be a #1 seed? Pitt? UConn? Oklahoma? Anyone?
Seriously, Brey, it was 17-2 BEFORE I EVEN FUCKING SAT DOWN!!!! What a disgrace…
Good for DePaul. (That still doesn’t mean they deserved to be in the BET.)
Ah crap, West Virginia is looking frisky again. Somebody get Bob Huggins another whiskey.
So let me get this straight: Last year, we couldn’t go five minutes without some announcer bringing up Notre Dame throwing KMac out of school for smoking pot. But 6 OTs pass without a single mention of the women-beaters / laptop stealers on UConn and Syracuse?
Speaking of which, move over, Costas and McNamara. I have a new “Least favorite person who when to Syracuse.” Devendorf, be thy name. I can’t wait for your 1-19 Round 1 shooting performance, douchebag. 10 bucks says he celebrated by buying some roofies in Times Square at 2 in the morning
Georgetown does NOT deserve an NIT bid over Saint Johns.
That game winner for ‘Nova rolled around the rim JUST a little too long for my comfort. Thank god it fell.
Little thing that pissed me off last night: In the 4th overtime, announcer Sean McDonough brings up the ND-GT 4OT classic from 2002…and claimed Georgetown won!!! And he never corrected himself. And he would never be called out for it because it happened at twelve fucking thirty! Well, I’m calling you out for it. I was watching that game in 2002: Georgetown lost. Get your facts right, a-hole.
It came to my attention that some readers (ha!) had some problems with my comments about West Virginia this week. To which I respond: If you don’t want to get made fun of for eating raccoon meat and having sex with your siblings, stop eating raccoon meat and having sex with your siblings. It’s that easy…
Good job by Marquette, getting off the snide and obliterating SJU. Marquette would be a great sleeper pick right now if they hadn’t gotten injuried.
Mike, you were out-rebounded about 6 million to 5 in the first ten minutes!!! Come on!!
I won’t put Providence in the tourney just yet. To many bubble team + bad RPI/SOS numbers + looking shaky vs. DePaul + blown out by Lousville = Won’t be safe until Sunday night.
If the Big Ten gets 8 (of 11) teams in the NCAA’s, I’m gonna throw out. Seriously, did you see that UConn/Cuse game last night? Could any of the Big Ten teams play like that?
(Now watch the Big Ten get 4 Final Four teams.)
Excerpt from a future conversation:
Grandson: Grandpa, tell me about the year Notre Dame started the season ranked in the Top Ten.
Me: Sure, sonny. 2009, what a great year that was. Notre Dame won the NIT that year…
Grandson: Really?
Me: Yep…
{Pause}
Grandson: That’s pretty fucking pathetic.
(Let’s pray for a quick exit next week to prevent this scenario from actually happening.)
Labels: 2009, Big East, College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Monday, April 07, 2008
A Verse of Maydogma: Title Game Edition
Thoughts while wishing the West Coast falls into the Pacific Ocean
Four #1 seeds in the Final Four = everyone in America saying “Why didn’t I just just pick that?”
Has any tournament game NOT been a blowout?
Fucking Roy Williams…
If it had been Florida and Ohio St. in the NIT finals, I could have written a book series entitled: “Picking the NIT Correctly: The Joy of Winning While Still Feeling Like a Loser.”
This tournament has been like one big “fuck you” to me switching my usual selections patterns from the last few years. Think about it:
You want to NOT pick Kansas as a 1 seed? Fine, here they are in the Finals.
You want to NOT pick Michigan St in the Elite Eight? Fine, let them win two games.
You want to NOT pick a 1 loss team? Fine, here they are in the Finals.
.You want to call the Big East overrated but pick them anyway? Fine, no Final Four teams for you.
You want to pick Duke for the Final Four? Fine, here they losing the in second round
So let’s see, it’s Tennessee vs. UConn in the woman’s finals again and….wait, it’s NOT Tennessee vs. UConn? WTF? What referee is gonna get fired for that one? Ten Bucks says a league official has already called Geno saying “Don’t worry, big guy, we’ll make it up to you next year…”
”Because I couldn’t possibly care how you did in your pool, but HAVE to tell you about mine”: 2008 Edition.
Let’s just say UCLA losing cost me 900 fucking dollars and leave it at that. Bet the farm on this prop: “In 2009, Maydog will pick against UCLA in round 1 due to spite, but UCLA will win the national championship.”
Sing it with me: IN ONE SHINING MOMENT / IT'S ALL ON THE LINE/
ONE SHINING MOMENT / THERE FROZEN IN TIME / ONE SHINING MOMENT....
Finals Prediction: Memphis 70 - Kansas 50 or Kansas 70 – Memphis 50. Either way, I’m expecting a blow out.
Four #1 seeds in the Final Four = everyone in America saying “Why didn’t I just just pick that?”
Has any tournament game NOT been a blowout?
Fucking Roy Williams…
If it had been Florida and Ohio St. in the NIT finals, I could have written a book series entitled: “Picking the NIT Correctly: The Joy of Winning While Still Feeling Like a Loser.”
This tournament has been like one big “fuck you” to me switching my usual selections patterns from the last few years. Think about it:
You want to NOT pick Kansas as a 1 seed? Fine, here they are in the Finals.
You want to NOT pick Michigan St in the Elite Eight? Fine, let them win two games.
You want to NOT pick a 1 loss team? Fine, here they are in the Finals.
.You want to call the Big East overrated but pick them anyway? Fine, no Final Four teams for you.
You want to pick Duke for the Final Four? Fine, here they losing the in second round
So let’s see, it’s Tennessee vs. UConn in the woman’s finals again and….wait, it’s NOT Tennessee vs. UConn? WTF? What referee is gonna get fired for that one? Ten Bucks says a league official has already called Geno saying “Don’t worry, big guy, we’ll make it up to you next year…”
”Because I couldn’t possibly care how you did in your pool, but HAVE to tell you about mine”: 2008 Edition.
Let’s just say UCLA losing cost me 900 fucking dollars and leave it at that. Bet the farm on this prop: “In 2009, Maydog will pick against UCLA in round 1 due to spite, but UCLA will win the national championship.”
Sing it with me: IN ONE SHINING MOMENT / IT'S ALL ON THE LINE/
ONE SHINING MOMENT / THERE FROZEN IN TIME / ONE SHINING MOMENT....
Finals Prediction: Memphis 70 - Kansas 50 or Kansas 70 – Memphis 50. Either way, I’m expecting a blow out.
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
A Verse of Maydogma: Tournament Edition
Tales from the First Weekend
If you even read the words “I’m picking Duke to make the Final Four” on this site ever again, please just punch me in the face.
(As a follow-up, I don’t think I’ve regretted a pick quicker than my Duke pick. I think it was 5 minutes into the Belmont game when I said, “OK seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?”)
Good for you, American…
Things I hate most in this world: 1) Violence 2) Racism 3) The Big Ten 4) Cats
UNLV winning their first game = the lock of the tournament every year
Cal St-Fullerton had me believing I still had the magic for about 1 half. Then reality kicked in…
Maydog’s Top 3 Teams that can Go to Hell, Under the radar Edition:
3) Cornell- Thanks for playing guys
2) Vanderbilt- 20 pts??? To a team from the MAAC?? WTF?
1) Winthrop- Maybe you should have pretended Wash St. was wearing Notre Dame jersey. Instead of scoring like 5 points in the second half, you would have scored 100 and won. Get out of my life and don’t come back.
If Ohio St wins tonight, I hereby declared myself the “King of the NIT Tournament Pools.”
This is probably where I should bring up Notre Dame’s crushing loss. Yep, they lost, it sucked. That’s all I got. Let us never bring this up again...
You mean Michigan St. may get back to the Elite Eight the one year I finally ‘give up’ on picking them? Get outta here. That never happens...
Final verdict: I was right about Georgetown being overrated. Please let me have this ONE moral victory.
I smell fried raccoon. You what that means? West Virginia must be in the Sweet 16…
Speaking of that merry bunch of hicks and their drunk driver coach, as a fan of a second tier Big East basketball program, the fact that WVA is the model for us all fills me with such rage that I want to go throw fruit at Kevin Pittsnogle, wherever he may be…
Will Gonzaga ever win a game when they’re a higher seed? Should they just ignore the seeding and pretend they are a low seed? For example: If they get a 4 seed next year, they should ask the committee to list them as a 16. They’d probably win the title…
Go ‘Nova….
New Rules for next year:
The “Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley” Rule- Never pick team for the Missouri Valley Conference - Fuck you Drake.
The “Wally Szerbiack/Dwyane Wade/Stephan Curry” Rule- Try to find the ‘tournament story’ player and pick his team to go to Finals - An awesome NBA-calibar player from a mid major going off on a scoring binge and carrying a smaller school; doesn’t this always happen ever few years? I may need actually some research next year instead of typing my column from the bathroom
The ACC Rule- Never trust a team with the ACC not named North Carolina (ok fine, and maybe Duke) in the first 2 rounds - Did you think Clemson was a lock up 18pts? Throw in Wake Forest’s history of ALWAYS failing to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and that’s enough for me.
Final verdict: I was right about Pitt, too. So what if I was wrong about EVERYTHING else?
Fucking UConn
If you even read the words “I’m picking Duke to make the Final Four” on this site ever again, please just punch me in the face.
(As a follow-up, I don’t think I’ve regretted a pick quicker than my Duke pick. I think it was 5 minutes into the Belmont game when I said, “OK seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?”)
Good for you, American…
Things I hate most in this world: 1) Violence 2) Racism 3) The Big Ten 4) Cats
UNLV winning their first game = the lock of the tournament every year
Cal St-Fullerton had me believing I still had the magic for about 1 half. Then reality kicked in…
Maydog’s Top 3 Teams that can Go to Hell, Under the radar Edition:
3) Cornell- Thanks for playing guys
2) Vanderbilt- 20 pts??? To a team from the MAAC?? WTF?
1) Winthrop- Maybe you should have pretended Wash St. was wearing Notre Dame jersey. Instead of scoring like 5 points in the second half, you would have scored 100 and won. Get out of my life and don’t come back.
If Ohio St wins tonight, I hereby declared myself the “King of the NIT Tournament Pools.”
This is probably where I should bring up Notre Dame’s crushing loss. Yep, they lost, it sucked. That’s all I got. Let us never bring this up again...
You mean Michigan St. may get back to the Elite Eight the one year I finally ‘give up’ on picking them? Get outta here. That never happens...
Final verdict: I was right about Georgetown being overrated. Please let me have this ONE moral victory.
I smell fried raccoon. You what that means? West Virginia must be in the Sweet 16…
Speaking of that merry bunch of hicks and their drunk driver coach, as a fan of a second tier Big East basketball program, the fact that WVA is the model for us all fills me with such rage that I want to go throw fruit at Kevin Pittsnogle, wherever he may be…
Will Gonzaga ever win a game when they’re a higher seed? Should they just ignore the seeding and pretend they are a low seed? For example: If they get a 4 seed next year, they should ask the committee to list them as a 16. They’d probably win the title…
Go ‘Nova….
New Rules for next year:
The “Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley” Rule- Never pick team for the Missouri Valley Conference - Fuck you Drake.
The “Wally Szerbiack/Dwyane Wade/Stephan Curry” Rule- Try to find the ‘tournament story’ player and pick his team to go to Finals - An awesome NBA-calibar player from a mid major going off on a scoring binge and carrying a smaller school; doesn’t this always happen ever few years? I may need actually some research next year instead of typing my column from the bathroom
The ACC Rule- Never trust a team with the ACC not named North Carolina (ok fine, and maybe Duke) in the first 2 rounds - Did you think Clemson was a lock up 18pts? Throw in Wake Forest’s history of ALWAYS failing to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and that’s enough for me.
Final verdict: I was right about Pitt, too. So what if I was wrong about EVERYTHING else?
Fucking UConn
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Friday, March 14, 2008
A Verse of Maydogma: Middle of Big East Tournament Edition
Tales 3 days before Selection Sunday
(Now with Reactionary Notre Dame Comments!)
Ok, I’ll try, TRY to get through this without any ridiculous Notre Dame/Mike Brey statements (like how maybe, JUST FUCKING MAYBE, it may have been worth abandoning the zone sooner than with 2 minutes left when it clearly wasn’t working and Marquette was shooting about 70% in the second half?!! Might that have been a good idea???....grrr...OK, I’ll stop...)
Hey, I think Georgetown just hit another 3...
Yeah, so that whole “picking UConn for the Elite eight” crap...You can go ahead and ignore that one, ok?
So, does anyone actually want to make the NCAA’s? Syracuse? St. Joe’s? UMass? UAB? Anybody? Maryland?
Speaking of the ACC, nothing warms my heart more than looking at their standings and seeing “BC: 4-12”…Still think it was worth it, fellows?…
In other ‘kicking you while you’re down’ news, nice no-show by Syracuse in the second half Wednesday. Somewhere, on that D-League trail, Gerry McNamara was crying in his Zima...
Well, here we go again with West Virginia. You know what that means? More fruit thrown at Maydog...
I have no evidence to prove it, but I think Seton Hall may have been the worst team to ever play in the BET.
I mean, come on: I was really pissed me off last year when all the idiots who hadn't seen ND play at all kept picking Winthrop based on a) the analysts' Winthrop love and b) the bias/hatred half the country has for ND. Throw in that there is now AMPLE evidence that they can't beat a good team in a big game away from South Bend. A win could have avoided all this. Now I get to hear this crap for the rest of the week. I mean, can you imagine if they're matched-up with George Mason? Or VCU? Or (gasp) Winthrop?
(Sorry, can’t help myself...I’ll let it go...)
Thanks a lot, Pitino...Someday I may actually predict the correct champion of this thing...Add Louisville to the ‘teams I just don’t fully trust’ entering next week, along with Tennessee, Kansas (as always), Southern Cal, Xavier, and, OF COURSE, Indiana...
OK, I know I’m biased, but Villanova probably should be in at this point…At least they WON a must-win game, unlike every other bubble team...
Congrats to the Big East Referees for earning a #1 seed in the “Worst Sports Officials Ever” Tournament. When I fill out my brackets, I definitely see them going far, but ultimately losing in the Final Four to fellow #1 seed “every NHL referee ever.”
(Now with Reactionary Notre Dame Comments!)
Ok, I’ll try, TRY to get through this without any ridiculous Notre Dame/Mike Brey statements (like how maybe, JUST FUCKING MAYBE, it may have been worth abandoning the zone sooner than with 2 minutes left when it clearly wasn’t working and Marquette was shooting about 70% in the second half?!! Might that have been a good idea???....grrr...OK, I’ll stop...)
Hey, I think Georgetown just hit another 3...
Yeah, so that whole “picking UConn for the Elite eight” crap...You can go ahead and ignore that one, ok?
So, does anyone actually want to make the NCAA’s? Syracuse? St. Joe’s? UMass? UAB? Anybody? Maryland?
Speaking of the ACC, nothing warms my heart more than looking at their standings and seeing “BC: 4-12”…Still think it was worth it, fellows?…
In other ‘kicking you while you’re down’ news, nice no-show by Syracuse in the second half Wednesday. Somewhere, on that D-League trail, Gerry McNamara was crying in his Zima...
Well, here we go again with West Virginia. You know what that means? More fruit thrown at Maydog...
I have no evidence to prove it, but I think Seton Hall may have been the worst team to ever play in the BET.
I mean, come on: I was really pissed me off last year when all the idiots who hadn't seen ND play at all kept picking Winthrop based on a) the analysts' Winthrop love and b) the bias/hatred half the country has for ND. Throw in that there is now AMPLE evidence that they can't beat a good team in a big game away from South Bend. A win could have avoided all this. Now I get to hear this crap for the rest of the week. I mean, can you imagine if they're matched-up with George Mason? Or VCU? Or (gasp) Winthrop?
(Sorry, can’t help myself...I’ll let it go...)
Thanks a lot, Pitino...Someday I may actually predict the correct champion of this thing...Add Louisville to the ‘teams I just don’t fully trust’ entering next week, along with Tennessee, Kansas (as always), Southern Cal, Xavier, and, OF COURSE, Indiana...
OK, I know I’m biased, but Villanova probably should be in at this point…At least they WON a must-win game, unlike every other bubble team...
Congrats to the Big East Referees for earning a #1 seed in the “Worst Sports Officials Ever” Tournament. When I fill out my brackets, I definitely see them going far, but ultimately losing in the Final Four to fellow #1 seed “every NHL referee ever.”
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Monday, April 03, 2006
A Verse of Maydogma: Title Game Edition
Thoughts while getting ready to sleep through the Title Game
Hey, let’s make fun of Adam Morrison for crying again…That’s never gets old…And it’s not heartless or anything…
Why yes, I DID have South Carolina in my NIT pool…
Tom Peroca=St John’s Coach in 2008…You heard it here first…
Congrats go to Florida. Not for just making the title game, but for making the title and convincing everyone that you’re not gonna lose in the first round NEXT year, thus guaranteeing everyone picks the Gator win when they will lose. Call it an early prediction: Florida going to ruin lots of brackets next year…
Because I couldn’t possibly care about how you did in your pool, but NEED to tell you how I did (2006 Version): Shockingly, for the first time since 2000, I had a chance to win my pool if LSU could pull down the championship…Well, we know how that one turned out…
So let’s add this ‘so close’ tournament pool to the ever expanding lsit of “Bryan Mayer Heartbreaking Losses from 2002-2006,” joining Yankees-Red Sox, Notre Dame-USC, and the hot chick in Sweden having a boyfriend. When the Rangers are hoisting the Stanley Cup in June, they might be enough for me to give up on life and not shave for weeks and weeks (Oh wait, I do that anyway…)
I’m sorry…I really like ‘One Shining Moment’…and yes, I know this makes me a wuss…
And finally, tonight prediction: Final Score: UCLA 21- Florida 19 (Ugh)
Hey, let’s make fun of Adam Morrison for crying again…That’s never gets old…And it’s not heartless or anything…
Why yes, I DID have South Carolina in my NIT pool…
Tom Peroca=St John’s Coach in 2008…You heard it here first…
Congrats go to Florida. Not for just making the title game, but for making the title and convincing everyone that you’re not gonna lose in the first round NEXT year, thus guaranteeing everyone picks the Gator win when they will lose. Call it an early prediction: Florida going to ruin lots of brackets next year…
Because I couldn’t possibly care about how you did in your pool, but NEED to tell you how I did (2006 Version): Shockingly, for the first time since 2000, I had a chance to win my pool if LSU could pull down the championship…Well, we know how that one turned out…
So let’s add this ‘so close’ tournament pool to the ever expanding lsit of “Bryan Mayer Heartbreaking Losses from 2002-2006,” joining Yankees-Red Sox, Notre Dame-USC, and the hot chick in Sweden having a boyfriend. When the Rangers are hoisting the Stanley Cup in June, they might be enough for me to give up on life and not shave for weeks and weeks (Oh wait, I do that anyway…)
I’m sorry…I really like ‘One Shining Moment’…and yes, I know this makes me a wuss…
And finally, tonight prediction: Final Score: UCLA 21- Florida 19 (Ugh)
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Thursday, March 23, 2006
A verse of Maydogma: Tournament Edition
Thoughts after the First Weekend
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
A verse of Maydogma: Wedding Edition
Tales of a 3rd-tier wedding guest:
(in honor of Josh's wedding)
You can’t have a good wedding without pit stains…
Apparently, beer and wine DO mix…Thanks a lot, you lying bastards!
The greatest wedding band ever would play every song ‘polka-style,’ just to piss everyone off…
Speaking of bands, I always have to resist the urge to punch the church’s trumpet player in the face…
Seriously, why aren’t I living in Florida? Between the beaches, the weather, the golf, the no-traffic highways, their Stanley Cup championship, and the shirtless, long-bearded bum pushing a shopping cart I saw outside the church, I can’t find one negative to living down there…
The Best-man used the pharse “sex machine” in his toast, thus making it the “Best Best-Man’s Toast” Ever!!
Maydog’s 3 Favorite Movies that Involve a Wedding: 1)”Good Fellas.” 2) “The Wedding Singer.” 3) “E.T.”
When I get married, (HA! Like that’s ever happening…I mean, have you seen my website photo? I look like a mule…And not one of those fancy well-kept, ‘Juan Valdes’-esque mules either…One of the worker mules…I mean, let’s face it, the only way I’m getting married is with alcohol; lots of alcohol…Tons of alcohol…We’re talking Boris Yeltsin/Dudley Moore levels here…The girl would have to be soooo drunk that, when faced with the choice of marrying me or marrying a nice potted plant, her vision would be too impaired to tell the difference, and she’d STILL think she was marrying the plant and not me…Fucking potted plant…Think you’re so good with your leafs and your needing to be watered…God don’t me started on that jerk…UGH…)
(Oh hey now, let’s start over, shall we?)
When I get married, I want my groomsmen to dress like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…
And finally, thank you to Josh and Colleen for inviting me to Florida for the wedding and giving me an excuse to call in sick to work when I’m not really sick. Guys, thanks for the best polio I’ll ever have…
Labels: Verse of Maydogma
Thursday, March 24, 2005
A Verse of Maydogma: Tourney Edition
Random Thoughts After The 1st Weekend
That’s what I get for making fun of West Virginia…
Why, WHY do I always sucker myself into the Ivy League team? Damn you Pete Carrill…
It’s amazing how bad the referees are in college basketball…
Fucking SEC…
Thank God BC Lost. If Boston College had won the national championship in the same 12 month span in which the Red Sox won the World Series, and the Yankees, the NHL, and Notre Dame (twice) became national disgraces, I think I would have given up on life and become a Mormon…
Just my luck, the one time in my lifetime that Bobby Knight’s team is a juicy pick to make a run, I pick against them because their coach is Bobby Knight…I knew this was coming, but Knight had burned me too many times…Damn…
Speaking of luck, I should have just let Robert Blake fill out my bracket…
OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…
Whatever happened to flubber?
Confession Time: I thought Alabama was in the Big 12 when I picked them to win…God that was stupid…I go out of my way to pick against the SEC, and then forget which teams are in it…
On the bright side, I DID give you Brucknell over Kansas…Now THAT’S a pick to tell your grandkids about…Too bad I screwed everything else up…
Someone should have told Gerry McNamara that he was playing against Notre Dame and not Vermont. Instead of choking, he may have scored 100 pts…
I can’t believe I didn’t pick Utah…I ALWAYS pick Utah…What was I doing?
Fucking Uconn….
That’s what I get for making fun of West Virginia…
Why, WHY do I always sucker myself into the Ivy League team? Damn you Pete Carrill…
It’s amazing how bad the referees are in college basketball…
Fucking SEC…
Thank God BC Lost. If Boston College had won the national championship in the same 12 month span in which the Red Sox won the World Series, and the Yankees, the NHL, and Notre Dame (twice) became national disgraces, I think I would have given up on life and become a Mormon…
Just my luck, the one time in my lifetime that Bobby Knight’s team is a juicy pick to make a run, I pick against them because their coach is Bobby Knight…I knew this was coming, but Knight had burned me too many times…Damn…
Speaking of luck, I should have just let Robert Blake fill out my bracket…
OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…
Whatever happened to flubber?
Confession Time: I thought Alabama was in the Big 12 when I picked them to win…God that was stupid…I go out of my way to pick against the SEC, and then forget which teams are in it…
On the bright side, I DID give you Brucknell over Kansas…Now THAT’S a pick to tell your grandkids about…Too bad I screwed everything else up…
Someone should have told Gerry McNamara that he was playing against Notre Dame and not Vermont. Instead of choking, he may have scored 100 pts…
I can’t believe I didn’t pick Utah…I ALWAYS pick Utah…What was I doing?
Fucking Uconn….
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
A verse of MAYDOGMA
Tales of a last minute mall shopper:
I’m one of those guys who doesn’t clean the snow off the top of my car. That’s right…I’m the asshole.
The most underrated part of holiday shopping Part I: Being able to buy something incredibly stupid for yourself and claiming it’s a present for someone else. For example, I saw a framed 8x10 picture of the Olsen Twins a few days ago. Any other time of the year, the clerk would look at me like I’m some such of pedophile and call the cops; but now: “Um, yeah, it’s for my nephrew.”
Why does the food at the mall always smell so good?
(I mean, who doesn’t love mall food? And how ‘bout those food stands that only exist in malls? Sabarro. Hagen Das. NY Pretzel Company. Where else can you find these places?)
Is it just me or did Fight Club just destroy all of IKEA’s business? I don’t think I saw one person go in there.
I'm always intrigued by phase "As seen of T.V.", even though these products are usually absolute crap...
My least favorite store at the mall? GNC, mostly because of the pathetic commission based counter guy who’s all over you like a Swedish whore from the moment you walk into the store. Go away; I’m fine; if I need your help, I’ll ask for it.
The most underrated part of holiday shopping Part II: When I’m walking back to my car and some car is following me to take my parking space, since the lot is so damn crowded. So I start walking really slow, just to piss off the woman in the car. And I take my time getting my keys out and putting my packages in the trunk. And sometimes, I go down to the wrong aisle just to throw her off. Try this some time; it’s really fun.
(Wow, I’m evil.)
And finally, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Nothing is more depressing than walking into the mall where you spent most of your high school afternoons…and having to look at the map to find out where all the stores are. Suddenly, I feel like I’m 100 years old. And now, I’m all bitter and resentful…Fuck you all…
(The holidays…Full of good cheer. Yay!)
I’m one of those guys who doesn’t clean the snow off the top of my car. That’s right…I’m the asshole.
The most underrated part of holiday shopping Part I: Being able to buy something incredibly stupid for yourself and claiming it’s a present for someone else. For example, I saw a framed 8x10 picture of the Olsen Twins a few days ago. Any other time of the year, the clerk would look at me like I’m some such of pedophile and call the cops; but now: “Um, yeah, it’s for my nephrew.”
Why does the food at the mall always smell so good?
(I mean, who doesn’t love mall food? And how ‘bout those food stands that only exist in malls? Sabarro. Hagen Das. NY Pretzel Company. Where else can you find these places?)
Is it just me or did Fight Club just destroy all of IKEA’s business? I don’t think I saw one person go in there.
I'm always intrigued by phase "As seen of T.V.", even though these products are usually absolute crap...
My least favorite store at the mall? GNC, mostly because of the pathetic commission based counter guy who’s all over you like a Swedish whore from the moment you walk into the store. Go away; I’m fine; if I need your help, I’ll ask for it.
The most underrated part of holiday shopping Part II: When I’m walking back to my car and some car is following me to take my parking space, since the lot is so damn crowded. So I start walking really slow, just to piss off the woman in the car. And I take my time getting my keys out and putting my packages in the trunk. And sometimes, I go down to the wrong aisle just to throw her off. Try this some time; it’s really fun.
(Wow, I’m evil.)
And finally, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Nothing is more depressing than walking into the mall where you spent most of your high school afternoons…and having to look at the map to find out where all the stores are. Suddenly, I feel like I’m 100 years old. And now, I’m all bitter and resentful…Fuck you all…
(The holidays…Full of good cheer. Yay!)
Labels: Verse of Maydogma
