Thursday, March 23, 2006
A verse of Maydogma: Tournament Edition
Thoughts after the First Weekend
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Well, that was typical
“Life’s a bitch, especially when your team is Notre Dame” –The Immortal Josh Rynne, one year ago
Just some quick comments on Notre Dame inevitable loss last night in the NIT:
-I don’t know which is more pathetic: The fact I was heartbroken/pissed AGAIN b/c of this team, or the fact I was heartbroken/pissed over an NIT game?
-A loss so predictable, I predicted it with 8 minutes left and ND up 10 pts (The old “Can you feel the heartbreaker coming?”). So what if it took 2 OT’s longer.
-Here is how I will remember Chris Quinn: Throughout his ND career, his role progressed from “Overrated shooter”, to “Decent player”, to “Solid #2 option”, and finally, to “#1 guy on a mediocre team which makes you WILDLY depressed that he’s the best player on the team.” Not that is his fault or anything, but Notre Dame #1 guy throughout the ‘90s (Pat Garrity, Monty Williams, Troy Murphy, Ryan Humphreys, Chris Thomas) has always been at least a borderline NBA prospect, which Quinn definitely is not, and which doomed this year’s team from day one because no one ever stepped up.
-Three year ago, I would have been crushed if Torin “WNBA” Francis had left school early. Now, I can’t wait for him to take his pulse and graduate. You can blame injuries and such at you want, but at the end of the day, he always looked like he didn’t want to be here (with the possible exemption of the BC game last year). Easily the most disappointing player of the last decade at Notre Dame.
-I know he’s a good coach, and you’re really not going to get anyone better right now, but this year has totally had me questioning “Is Mike Brey the right coach for Notre Dame??” I mean, how many close games/game they should have won against an inferior opponent has ND lost under Brey? (My unofficial count is 27, including 10 games this year.) Some of it’s luck, but Brey just seems to have a knack for either a) losing to inferior opponents in big games (The Rutgers game last year to get into the NCAAs) or b) having his team needing to make a game winning shot that always looks rushed (which happened to Chris Quinn numerous times this year). Put it this way: With another coach, could ND have won maybe, oh I don’t know, 3 more of those ridiculous heartbreakers instead of going 3-10 in close games? Probably…
(I’m not going as far as starting the “2007 Mike Brey Farewell Tour,” but the last 2 years have left some bitter tastes. Please Mike, go out and prove something next year. Or at least don’t finish last in the Big East (which may be a good prediction considering the talent base coming back next year.)
-With all that said, Michigan’s team is terrible and didn’t deserve to be in the tournament (but we knew that already).
-And finally, to show you just how jinxed I am, Let me present: “Maydog’s Top Ten List of Heartbreaking Losses involving Notre Dame in the Past 12 months”
10. Villanova 82, ND 80
9. OSU 34, ND 20
8. Michigan 87, ND 84 (2OT)
7. GT 67, ND 63
6. GT 85, ND 82 (2OT)
5. Pitt 100, ND 97 (2OT)
4. Louisville 89, ND 86 (OT)
3. MSU 44, ND 41 (OT)
2. UConn 75, ND 74 (OT)
1. USC 34, ND 31
Just some quick comments on Notre Dame inevitable loss last night in the NIT:
-I don’t know which is more pathetic: The fact I was heartbroken/pissed AGAIN b/c of this team, or the fact I was heartbroken/pissed over an NIT game?
-A loss so predictable, I predicted it with 8 minutes left and ND up 10 pts (The old “Can you feel the heartbreaker coming?”). So what if it took 2 OT’s longer.
-Here is how I will remember Chris Quinn: Throughout his ND career, his role progressed from “Overrated shooter”, to “Decent player”, to “Solid #2 option”, and finally, to “#1 guy on a mediocre team which makes you WILDLY depressed that he’s the best player on the team.” Not that is his fault or anything, but Notre Dame #1 guy throughout the ‘90s (Pat Garrity, Monty Williams, Troy Murphy, Ryan Humphreys, Chris Thomas) has always been at least a borderline NBA prospect, which Quinn definitely is not, and which doomed this year’s team from day one because no one ever stepped up.
-Three year ago, I would have been crushed if Torin “WNBA” Francis had left school early. Now, I can’t wait for him to take his pulse and graduate. You can blame injuries and such at you want, but at the end of the day, he always looked like he didn’t want to be here (with the possible exemption of the BC game last year). Easily the most disappointing player of the last decade at Notre Dame.
-I know he’s a good coach, and you’re really not going to get anyone better right now, but this year has totally had me questioning “Is Mike Brey the right coach for Notre Dame??” I mean, how many close games/game they should have won against an inferior opponent has ND lost under Brey? (My unofficial count is 27, including 10 games this year.) Some of it’s luck, but Brey just seems to have a knack for either a) losing to inferior opponents in big games (The Rutgers game last year to get into the NCAAs) or b) having his team needing to make a game winning shot that always looks rushed (which happened to Chris Quinn numerous times this year). Put it this way: With another coach, could ND have won maybe, oh I don’t know, 3 more of those ridiculous heartbreakers instead of going 3-10 in close games? Probably…
(I’m not going as far as starting the “2007 Mike Brey Farewell Tour,” but the last 2 years have left some bitter tastes. Please Mike, go out and prove something next year. Or at least don’t finish last in the Big East (which may be a good prediction considering the talent base coming back next year.)
-With all that said, Michigan’s team is terrible and didn’t deserve to be in the tournament (but we knew that already).
-And finally, to show you just how jinxed I am, Let me present: “Maydog’s Top Ten List of Heartbreaking Losses involving Notre Dame in the Past 12 months”
10. Villanova 82, ND 80
9. OSU 34, ND 20
8. Michigan 87, ND 84 (2OT)
7. GT 67, ND 63
6. GT 85, ND 82 (2OT)
5. Pitt 100, ND 97 (2OT)
4. Louisville 89, ND 86 (OT)
3. MSU 44, ND 41 (OT)
2. UConn 75, ND 74 (OT)
1. USC 34, ND 31
Labels: College Basketball
Thursday, March 16, 2006
MAYDOG vs MARCH MADNESS V4
Who am I to break tradition, even when I haven’t posted in months?
The fact is, my favorite column to write (and, in fact, the only column I’ve written in months) involves the annual NCAA Basketball Tournament. Who cares if no one’s going to read it?
This year’s field looks harder than ever to predict. But don’t worry, fair reader. (Reader? What reader?) With my help, I can easily show you the fastest way to light your money on fire and be the laughingstock of your office pool.
So, MAYDOGMA proudly presents my 4th annual guide on “How to lose your office pool as fast as humanly possibly.”
-The Kentucky Rule- Pick the #1 team in the country to win it all. Hey, they’re the best team in the country. The best team ALWAYS wins. Go Du…
(Now wait a minute…Is Duke REALLY the best team right now? Come on…)
-The Big Ten Rule- Develop a biased against one specific conference. Talk yourself into calling overrated. This year’s candidate: The PAC-10. Just a down year for the entire conference. So, I’m picking everyone except UCLA to lose in the first round, and then I’m showing no respect for flashy pick UCLA by having them lose in the Sweet Sixteen.
(Please note: All year, while thinking about this column, I was DESPERATELY trying to squeeze the Big Ten into the annual “Big Ten Overrated” Spot. But guess what? I like most of those teams this year. So this is Maydog’s “YEAR OF THE BIG TEN” Bracket. If they screw me again (like Ohio State losing to Georgetown, which better not happen), that’s it! I’m never picking another Big Ten school (other than Michigan State-see below) to win another game ever…)
-The Big East Rule- If you watch only one conference all year, pick all the teams from that conference. For example, being a fan of Notre Dame and Villanova, I watch mostly Big East games during the regular season. So what happens in my pool? 4 Big East Teams to the Sweet Sixteen, 2 to the Elite Eight, and 2 in the Final Four. A great way to show off your “diverse” knowledge of college basketball!...However:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney.- Ok, so this rule was pretty much destroyed last year by West Virginia band of hillbillies. And Syracuse looked pretty awesome in the tournament this year that I was talking myself into picking another Orange run. (see below)
So, let’s modify this rule a little:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney, unless the team that looked good contains a bunch of hillbillies, including a tall, doofy, white-trash center, a guy whose been in college for 8 years, the coach’s son, an overrated shooter, and a fan base that once threw fruit at Maydog. - There we go. Covers all bases.
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule- Pick your alma mater to win several games. Trust me, your favorite team ALWAYS makes a run, especially if you pick them. Doesn’t apply this year…Yay, NIT!
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule (Part II)- Pick your FUTURE alma mater to win several games. Doesn’t apply this year because Hofstra got screwed. Yay, NIT!
(However, there is ONE exception to these rules. If your alma mater is in the tournament, and there’s a good chance they probably won’t be there again for another 20 years, by all means, pick them. We call this the Siena/Niagara corollary. This year’s team: Albany.)
-The Chalk Rule- Never pick a lower seed to win. Upsets? There are never any upsets!!
-The Indiana Rule- Pick with (insert team). Or against them. Or with them. Or against them. Throughout my years picking the tournament, I have learned there are some teams you just can’t trust, no matter how good or bad they are. Here are a few teams that will always give you headaches:
· Arizona: Lose when they should win, win when they should lose. (This year is a great test run. They have no business even winning a game this year, so I wouldn’t be shocked to see them in the finals.)
· Kansas: Underachieves most of time.
· Florida: The most frustrating team of the last few years. Any year I suck myself into them, they lose to Manhattan. This year, overrated again as a 3 seed, I’m staying as far away from them as possible and picking Wisconsin-Mil. in the second round. (This rule is JOSH RYNNE APPROVED!)
· Syracuse: I found myself getting sucked into Syracuse again this year after picking them for the final four last year and watching them lose to Vermont (which I KNEW, KNEW was gonna happen after I picked ‘Cuse). But with Gerry “MY GOD, how are you still in college?” McNamara primed to score 50 points in the first two games (maybe he’s just pretending the other teams have Notre Dame jerseys on), the Orange look like a good sleeper pick. So beware…
· Gonzaga: I have NEVER picked a Zags games correctly. And then they went and lost to Bobby Knight last year!
· Indiana: Ah welcome back, my old nemesis, the Hoosiers. Only two options for Indiana: Lose in first round, or go to the finals. Fucking corn boys…
· - And one team that deserves it’s own rule, only because how you rate them ALWAYS affects your entire bracket:
- The Posers Rule- Underestimate Duke. Or Don’t Underestimate Duke. Or Underestimate Duke. Which Coach K team will show up this year: the one that wins championships or the only that chokes against UCONN, Kansas, Indiana, & Michigan State (notice how this list gets longer and longer every year?)? I never have any idea. This year, well this does NOT feel like a Duke championship team…So I guess they’re winning the title…
-The “There is no god” rule- Pick a team that will cause Bryan Mayer to get mad/ suffer through a heartbreaking loss- Let’s face it folks: I’m jinxed right now. In the past 26 months, the Red Sox won the World Series, USC won a national title, the Rangers are in first place, the Yankees lost two heartbreaking playoff series, Notre Dame football had the worst heartbreaking loss in history, Notre Dame basketball suffered about 5 Million heartbreakers, the Islanders feel apart, the Knicks fell apart, the Giants got destroyed in the playoffs…It just goes on and on. So I fully prepared for a Final Four run by Boston College, just to break my spirit…
-The Jane Kulm Illinois rule- Find out which STATE has the most teams from it in the tournament. Pick all those schools. A reader suggested this rule after she claimed to fill out her brackets using only schools located in Illinois. This year's state: Tenessee, and yes, both Tennessee and Memphis look kinda frisky this year.
-The 'Hey, It could happen' rule- Pick a 16 seed to win.- Let me know how this one works out for you guys….
- The “How’s my garbage?” rule- Pick against Teams from New Jersey. – Just because. Goodbye, Seton Hall. Goodbye, Monmouth.
- The Valpo rule- Mid majors suck and never win. – Ah yes, it’s the year of the Mid Major. And guess what? I’m picking all the MVC teams to lose as quickly as possible. (Well, except Wichita State, because Seton Hall blows)
- The Pinky and All-Brainy Rule- Pick the Ivory League team to win. I think I do this every year for no reason whatsoever. (Well, mostly because Pete Carrill won those games in the mid 90’s.) Go Penn! (Thank you to the committee for making them a 15 seed, thus removing the temptation.)
- The Monkey Wretch Rule- Pick against a team you think is overrated. Base your whole bracket on the thought of them losing. This year’s team: Boston College. Al Skinner is overrated. Everyone’s on their bandwagon. And they have all the bad karma of trying to wreck the Big East last year. And I hate them (J). So I’m picking them to be upset in the first round, even against an inferior, overmatched Pacific team, thus putting my entire bracket in jeopardy due to blind hatred. Go to fucking hell, BC…
(March Madness-Feel the love)
-The 16 years of Catholic School rule- Never pick a school with the word “State” in its name. Public school is overrated…
-The “Never pick a school with a direction in its name” rule.- Northern Iowa, my ass…
-The Otto the Syracuse Orange Rule- Pick the school with the better mascot. If you follow this one, Syracuse would win every year, with Florida as the runner-up…
-The UCLA in 96 / Joe Feehan in 2001 Rule- Overrate the defending champion. Just like with MSU in 2001(where I picked them to go to the finals), Maryland in 2003 (where I picked them for the final four), Syracuse in 2004 (where I picked them to win 3 games), and UCONN last year (where I picked them for the finals) you should consider riding the North Carolina bandwagon all the way to the finals. The defending champion has experience, and experience wins in March. However, UNC is running into the wrong team this year…
-The “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em rule”- ALWAYS, ALWAYS,ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS pick Michigan State to go to the Elite Eight. – Last year I wrote:
“OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…”
So, what was the first thing I did with my brackets? Damn straight, I didn’t even look at who MSU was playing. Right to the Elite Eight. This happens EVERY YEAR. Just trust me on this one…
(Of course, if MSU loses to a karma filled George Mason team (whose been told all week how they don’t belong in the tournament), well, then you didn’t heard it from me…)
-The Matt Doherty Rule- Pick coaches from your hometown. Long Island is known as the “cradle of coaches,” having produced several top level coaches (Rick Pitino, Jay Wright, Billy Donovan) in recent years. Should this information sway my decision come tournament time? Damn straight it should. Go Gators…
- The “Stephon Marbury Inflated Ego” Rule: Try to be a hero/ Duplicate past successes- Last year, I called maybe my greatest upset pick of all time- #14 Bucknell over #3 Kansas. And yes, I am DAMN PROUD of that one. So this year, I’m trying to top myself with another ridiculous upset pick. After eliminating some big stretches (Oral Roberts over Memphis, Penn over Texas, Iona over LSU, Winthrop over Tenn), here’s this year’s ridiculous Maydog pick: Northwestern St. over Iowa. I know absolutely nothing about Northwestern St. And I actually think Iowa’s pretty good. But I’m trying to be a hero here and top myself. (God, I’m such an idiot)
-The St. Joe's in 2004 rule- Jump on a Bandwagon. From the makers of the Syracuse in 2003 pick (which was inspired) and the St. Joe's in 2004 pick (which was 10 seconds away from being inspired), I give your this year's team that 'everyone is bashing but I'm picking them to prove everyone wrong'....Memphis.
(OK, actually, I really don’t like Memphis this year either. Pick them and you really will screw up your pool.)
-And lastly, The “Why the hell should I listen to you, you haven’t posted the months, you scumbag!” rule- Actually listen to me- Hey, who am I to argue?
Happy picking everyone.
The fact is, my favorite column to write (and, in fact, the only column I’ve written in months) involves the annual NCAA Basketball Tournament. Who cares if no one’s going to read it?
This year’s field looks harder than ever to predict. But don’t worry, fair reader. (Reader? What reader?) With my help, I can easily show you the fastest way to light your money on fire and be the laughingstock of your office pool.
So, MAYDOGMA proudly presents my 4th annual guide on “How to lose your office pool as fast as humanly possibly.”
-The Kentucky Rule- Pick the #1 team in the country to win it all. Hey, they’re the best team in the country. The best team ALWAYS wins. Go Du…
(Now wait a minute…Is Duke REALLY the best team right now? Come on…)
-The Big Ten Rule- Develop a biased against one specific conference. Talk yourself into calling overrated. This year’s candidate: The PAC-10. Just a down year for the entire conference. So, I’m picking everyone except UCLA to lose in the first round, and then I’m showing no respect for flashy pick UCLA by having them lose in the Sweet Sixteen.
(Please note: All year, while thinking about this column, I was DESPERATELY trying to squeeze the Big Ten into the annual “Big Ten Overrated” Spot. But guess what? I like most of those teams this year. So this is Maydog’s “YEAR OF THE BIG TEN” Bracket. If they screw me again (like Ohio State losing to Georgetown, which better not happen), that’s it! I’m never picking another Big Ten school (other than Michigan State-see below) to win another game ever…)
-The Big East Rule- If you watch only one conference all year, pick all the teams from that conference. For example, being a fan of Notre Dame and Villanova, I watch mostly Big East games during the regular season. So what happens in my pool? 4 Big East Teams to the Sweet Sixteen, 2 to the Elite Eight, and 2 in the Final Four. A great way to show off your “diverse” knowledge of college basketball!...However:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney.- Ok, so this rule was pretty much destroyed last year by West Virginia band of hillbillies. And Syracuse looked pretty awesome in the tournament this year that I was talking myself into picking another Orange run. (see below)
So, let’s modify this rule a little:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney, unless the team that looked good contains a bunch of hillbillies, including a tall, doofy, white-trash center, a guy whose been in college for 8 years, the coach’s son, an overrated shooter, and a fan base that once threw fruit at Maydog. - There we go. Covers all bases.
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule- Pick your alma mater to win several games. Trust me, your favorite team ALWAYS makes a run, especially if you pick them. Doesn’t apply this year…Yay, NIT!
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule (Part II)- Pick your FUTURE alma mater to win several games. Doesn’t apply this year because Hofstra got screwed. Yay, NIT!
(However, there is ONE exception to these rules. If your alma mater is in the tournament, and there’s a good chance they probably won’t be there again for another 20 years, by all means, pick them. We call this the Siena/Niagara corollary. This year’s team: Albany.)
-The Chalk Rule- Never pick a lower seed to win. Upsets? There are never any upsets!!
-The Indiana Rule- Pick with (insert team). Or against them. Or with them. Or against them. Throughout my years picking the tournament, I have learned there are some teams you just can’t trust, no matter how good or bad they are. Here are a few teams that will always give you headaches:
· Arizona: Lose when they should win, win when they should lose. (This year is a great test run. They have no business even winning a game this year, so I wouldn’t be shocked to see them in the finals.)
· Kansas: Underachieves most of time.
· Florida: The most frustrating team of the last few years. Any year I suck myself into them, they lose to Manhattan. This year, overrated again as a 3 seed, I’m staying as far away from them as possible and picking Wisconsin-Mil. in the second round. (This rule is JOSH RYNNE APPROVED!)
· Syracuse: I found myself getting sucked into Syracuse again this year after picking them for the final four last year and watching them lose to Vermont (which I KNEW, KNEW was gonna happen after I picked ‘Cuse). But with Gerry “MY GOD, how are you still in college?” McNamara primed to score 50 points in the first two games (maybe he’s just pretending the other teams have Notre Dame jerseys on), the Orange look like a good sleeper pick. So beware…
· Gonzaga: I have NEVER picked a Zags games correctly. And then they went and lost to Bobby Knight last year!
· Indiana: Ah welcome back, my old nemesis, the Hoosiers. Only two options for Indiana: Lose in first round, or go to the finals. Fucking corn boys…
· - And one team that deserves it’s own rule, only because how you rate them ALWAYS affects your entire bracket:
- The Posers Rule- Underestimate Duke. Or Don’t Underestimate Duke. Or Underestimate Duke. Which Coach K team will show up this year: the one that wins championships or the only that chokes against UCONN, Kansas, Indiana, & Michigan State (notice how this list gets longer and longer every year?)? I never have any idea. This year, well this does NOT feel like a Duke championship team…So I guess they’re winning the title…
-The “There is no god” rule- Pick a team that will cause Bryan Mayer to get mad/ suffer through a heartbreaking loss- Let’s face it folks: I’m jinxed right now. In the past 26 months, the Red Sox won the World Series, USC won a national title, the Rangers are in first place, the Yankees lost two heartbreaking playoff series, Notre Dame football had the worst heartbreaking loss in history, Notre Dame basketball suffered about 5 Million heartbreakers, the Islanders feel apart, the Knicks fell apart, the Giants got destroyed in the playoffs…It just goes on and on. So I fully prepared for a Final Four run by Boston College, just to break my spirit…
-The Jane Kulm Illinois rule- Find out which STATE has the most teams from it in the tournament. Pick all those schools. A reader suggested this rule after she claimed to fill out her brackets using only schools located in Illinois. This year's state: Tenessee, and yes, both Tennessee and Memphis look kinda frisky this year.
-The 'Hey, It could happen' rule- Pick a 16 seed to win.- Let me know how this one works out for you guys….
- The “How’s my garbage?” rule- Pick against Teams from New Jersey. – Just because. Goodbye, Seton Hall. Goodbye, Monmouth.
- The Valpo rule- Mid majors suck and never win. – Ah yes, it’s the year of the Mid Major. And guess what? I’m picking all the MVC teams to lose as quickly as possible. (Well, except Wichita State, because Seton Hall blows)
- The Pinky and All-Brainy Rule- Pick the Ivory League team to win. I think I do this every year for no reason whatsoever. (Well, mostly because Pete Carrill won those games in the mid 90’s.) Go Penn! (Thank you to the committee for making them a 15 seed, thus removing the temptation.)
- The Monkey Wretch Rule- Pick against a team you think is overrated. Base your whole bracket on the thought of them losing. This year’s team: Boston College. Al Skinner is overrated. Everyone’s on their bandwagon. And they have all the bad karma of trying to wreck the Big East last year. And I hate them (J). So I’m picking them to be upset in the first round, even against an inferior, overmatched Pacific team, thus putting my entire bracket in jeopardy due to blind hatred. Go to fucking hell, BC…
(March Madness-Feel the love)
-The 16 years of Catholic School rule- Never pick a school with the word “State” in its name. Public school is overrated…
-The “Never pick a school with a direction in its name” rule.- Northern Iowa, my ass…
-The Otto the Syracuse Orange Rule- Pick the school with the better mascot. If you follow this one, Syracuse would win every year, with Florida as the runner-up…
-The UCLA in 96 / Joe Feehan in 2001 Rule- Overrate the defending champion. Just like with MSU in 2001(where I picked them to go to the finals), Maryland in 2003 (where I picked them for the final four), Syracuse in 2004 (where I picked them to win 3 games), and UCONN last year (where I picked them for the finals) you should consider riding the North Carolina bandwagon all the way to the finals. The defending champion has experience, and experience wins in March. However, UNC is running into the wrong team this year…
-The “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em rule”- ALWAYS, ALWAYS,ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS pick Michigan State to go to the Elite Eight. – Last year I wrote:
“OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…”
So, what was the first thing I did with my brackets? Damn straight, I didn’t even look at who MSU was playing. Right to the Elite Eight. This happens EVERY YEAR. Just trust me on this one…
(Of course, if MSU loses to a karma filled George Mason team (whose been told all week how they don’t belong in the tournament), well, then you didn’t heard it from me…)
-The Matt Doherty Rule- Pick coaches from your hometown. Long Island is known as the “cradle of coaches,” having produced several top level coaches (Rick Pitino, Jay Wright, Billy Donovan) in recent years. Should this information sway my decision come tournament time? Damn straight it should. Go Gators…
- The “Stephon Marbury Inflated Ego” Rule: Try to be a hero/ Duplicate past successes- Last year, I called maybe my greatest upset pick of all time- #14 Bucknell over #3 Kansas. And yes, I am DAMN PROUD of that one. So this year, I’m trying to top myself with another ridiculous upset pick. After eliminating some big stretches (Oral Roberts over Memphis, Penn over Texas, Iona over LSU, Winthrop over Tenn), here’s this year’s ridiculous Maydog pick: Northwestern St. over Iowa. I know absolutely nothing about Northwestern St. And I actually think Iowa’s pretty good. But I’m trying to be a hero here and top myself. (God, I’m such an idiot)
-The St. Joe's in 2004 rule- Jump on a Bandwagon. From the makers of the Syracuse in 2003 pick (which was inspired) and the St. Joe's in 2004 pick (which was 10 seconds away from being inspired), I give your this year's team that 'everyone is bashing but I'm picking them to prove everyone wrong'....Memphis.
(OK, actually, I really don’t like Memphis this year either. Pick them and you really will screw up your pool.)
-And lastly, The “Why the hell should I listen to you, you haven’t posted the months, you scumbag!” rule- Actually listen to me- Hey, who am I to argue?
Happy picking everyone.
Labels: College Basketball
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
NIT Picks
For the second year in a row, I give the bottom of barrell; the true sign you have nothing better to do: My NIT picks!
(That's right! It's the N ot I n T ournament...Or as I like to call it "N otre dame's I n it, T hanks mike!)
Is there any strategy for picking this thing? Of course not! I think last year, I got like 4 out of 31 games correct
This year, I'm leaning towards "hot" teams and picking against teams that were Bubble Teams.
The picks:
Opening round: Manhattan, Rutgers, UTEP, Akron, N. Ariz, UVA, Charlotte, Butler
Second round: Maryland, Colorado, St Joes, Hofstra (First homer pick!), UTEP, Notre Dame (Second homer pick!), Creighton, Ok St, Louisville, Clemson, Miss St, BYU, Cincy, Wake Forest,
Butler, U South Carolina
Third round: Colorado, St Joes, UTEP (sorry Irish), Creighton, Louisville,B YU, Wake Forest, U South Carolina
Final Four: St Joes, Creighton, Louisville,U South Carolina
Finals: Creighton, U South Carolina
(That's right! It's the N ot I n T ournament...Or as I like to call it "N otre dame's I n it, T hanks mike!)
Is there any strategy for picking this thing? Of course not! I think last year, I got like 4 out of 31 games correct
This year, I'm leaning towards "hot" teams and picking against teams that were Bubble Teams.
The picks:
Opening round: Manhattan, Rutgers, UTEP, Akron, N. Ariz, UVA, Charlotte, Butler
Second round: Maryland, Colorado, St Joes, Hofstra (First homer pick!), UTEP, Notre Dame (Second homer pick!), Creighton, Ok St, Louisville, Clemson, Miss St, BYU, Cincy, Wake Forest,
Butler, U South Carolina
Third round: Colorado, St Joes, UTEP (sorry Irish), Creighton, Louisville,B YU, Wake Forest, U South Carolina
Final Four: St Joes, Creighton, Louisville,U South Carolina
Finals: Creighton, U South Carolina
Labels: College Basketball
One more new beginning
OK...Last time b/f I close up shop, I will restart my blog with the March Madness season...Even if there is absolutely NO ONE reading...
Starting tonight, see all sort of college b-ball stuff, including my 4th annual "How to screw up your college picks" column...
Anyone left, enjoy MAYDOGMA!
Starting tonight, see all sort of college b-ball stuff, including my 4th annual "How to screw up your college picks" column...
Anyone left, enjoy MAYDOGMA!
