Thursday, March 23, 2006
A verse of Maydogma: Tournament Edition
Thoughts after the First Weekend
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Wow…What financial bloodbath…
The fact that I made Gerry McNamara my second round pick in my player pool (after picking Jamal Lewis in the first round of fantasy football last year) may be a sign of that I’m going senile about 50 years too early…
I’m convinced Lucifer has a summer home in the Missouri Valley…
Good for Albany…
How the FUCK did Boston College win that Pacific game?
Here’s a tip, BC: Nobody likes you! You tried to ruin the Big East just so you could continue to be Miami’s buttboy! Your greatest achievements have come by ruining other, better schools’ seasons! You’ve never won anything! Your most famous alumnus is an overrated midget! Just lose already and get out of our lives!
Why is it always called “flu-like” symptoms and not just “He has the flu?” I mean, if Adam Morrison has a broken arm, he doesn’t have “broken arm-like symptoms;” he has a broken arm…
The choice (and remember Death is not an option): Steve Alford or Isiah Thomas?
(Come on Cornboys, Pick Isiah! Please!! I promise I’ll stop making fun on IUSB if you do it!!)
I think “Gonzaga” is really a Jesuit word for “School founded by Satan.”
So, THIS is what it’s like rooting for a Number 1 seed (Villanova, my brother’s school). And I must say…No; it’s not any easier or less stressful…
I once wrote: “No matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….”
In retrospect, that’s what I get for insulting Mothra…
I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU BIG TEN…If I ever declare my brackets “The year of the Big Ten” again, please, just punch me in the face…
A Senior Vice President of my company picked George Washington to win in the office pool…In related news, the stock price just dropped…
Whenever someone talks about the purity of youth and how children are our future, remember this: Somewhere in West Virginia, there’s a little boy wearing a Kevin Pittsnoggle jersey, waiting for his raccoon stew dinner, and saying “Yee HAH! Yee HAH! Yee Hah! I can’t wait to throw more fruit at Maydog!”
Some new rules for next year:
The Gerry McNamara Rule: Never trust a team with ties to Gerry McNamara, even if during the week before the tournament, he’s scoring 50 pts a game while turning water into wine and curing cancer. Please be gone. Please be gone.
(And remind me in 15 years when Gerry’s coaching Syracuse to never pick the Orange to win again (well, unless they’re playing Notre Dame and his son’s on the team…Because GOD FORBID Gerry Jr. score less than 30 pts vs. ND.) Thank you Gerry for the 3 year ass reaming…)
The George Mason Rule: Always pick teams that ‘didn’t belong in the tournament’ to win their first round game. Think about it: George Mason spent the entire week hearing how Hofstra should have been in over them (which was true, but regardless). Of course they were gonna be pissed and motivated…Also see Bradley & Air Force’s respectable showing vs. Illinois…
The Kansas Rule: Never pick Kansas. Congratulations Jayhawks, welcome to the list of “Teams I refuse ever pick again.”
The ‘Bryan Mayer is a moron’ rule: Don’t follow your own stupid advice. For the second year in a row, I call another SHOCKING first round upset on this website (NW State over Iowa). Combined with my “Bucknell over Kansas” pick from 2005, normally, I’d be pretty happy and declaring myself a bracket GOD. But, like an idiot, well, let’s just say I had money on Iowa and didn’t pick NW State for my pool...Hey, is that a pawn shop?
Congratulation goes to Florida on finally not choking…
I’m liking my LSU pick more and more….So expect them to lose by 50 to Duke…
Finally, we’re only two weeks away from a possible WVA-BC-UConn-Gonzaga Final Four, or as I would call it, the “there is no god” Final Four
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
# posted by Bryan
