Thursday, June 23, 2005
"Classic" Maydog
"I've never driven past a gated community without wanting to spit out the window..."- From the 12th book of Maydogma
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
AWESOME ND BLOG!!!
http://bluegraysky.blogspot.com/
Just an awesome Notre Dame Blog. Finally, a worthwhile blog about ND!!
Though I usually don't care about the nitty gritty details of recruiting (mostly b/c I think recruiting is the most overrated part of college football, but we'll leave that for another time), these guys deliver great opinions on everything ND, without most of the usual 'rose-colored glasses" approach that pontificates most pro-ND articles. I loved the recent post comparing "The Shirt" history. And they made a great, thought provoking, "God-I-hope-I-don't-throw-up-You-HAVE-to-be-wrong" point comparing Charlie Weiss and Ray Handley. (Let's hope we never see Big Charlie wearing the HUGE headsets to drown out the boos from the crowd...)
Kudos to all the writers...Blue-Gray, welcome to my daily bookmarks...
Just an awesome Notre Dame Blog. Finally, a worthwhile blog about ND!!
Though I usually don't care about the nitty gritty details of recruiting (mostly b/c I think recruiting is the most overrated part of college football, but we'll leave that for another time), these guys deliver great opinions on everything ND, without most of the usual 'rose-colored glasses" approach that pontificates most pro-ND articles. I loved the recent post comparing "The Shirt" history. And they made a great, thought provoking, "God-I-hope-I-don't-throw-up-You-HAVE-to-be-wrong" point comparing Charlie Weiss and Ray Handley. (Let's hope we never see Big Charlie wearing the HUGE headsets to drown out the boos from the crowd...)
Kudos to all the writers...Blue-Gray, welcome to my daily bookmarks...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Quick Quote
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather,who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."- Unknown Author
Monday, June 20, 2005
Complaint of the Day- Newspaper Websites
It seems that more and more newspapers (The New York Post and USA Today to name two) are requiring a subscription to view current articles on their website.
While this practice has been done in the past with just dated columns and not current ones (which was pretty useless to begin with, since you could just go to the library for free and find an article from 1999 if you had to...Of course, I hate the library in general and really, REALLY hate microfilm and microfiche and whatever other crap they have there...), it really is discouraging me from ever reading these papers. Especially the out of town ones like the South Bend Tribune. Isn't the point to get me to read more? Why make it less accessible?
While this practice has been done in the past with just dated columns and not current ones (which was pretty useless to begin with, since you could just go to the library for free and find an article from 1999 if you had to...Of course, I hate the library in general and really, REALLY hate microfilm and microfiche and whatever other crap they have there...), it really is discouraging me from ever reading these papers. Especially the out of town ones like the South Bend Tribune. Isn't the point to get me to read more? Why make it less accessible?
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Hockey Rumors.com
http://hockeyrumors.blogspot.com
Basically, this jackass has been predicting a settlement every week for the last 6 months, just so when he eventually is right, he can say, "Look, I was right all along..." Please...
If I had the time, I'd devote every waking minute to destroying this scumbag...
Basically, this jackass has been predicting a settlement every week for the last 6 months, just so when he eventually is right, he can say, "Look, I was right all along..." Please...
If I had the time, I'd devote every waking minute to destroying this scumbag...
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
A verse of Maydogma: Wedding Edition
Tales of a 3rd-tier wedding guest:
(in honor of Josh's wedding)
You can’t have a good wedding without pit stains…
Apparently, beer and wine DO mix…Thanks a lot, you lying bastards!
The greatest wedding band ever would play every song ‘polka-style,’ just to piss everyone off…
Speaking of bands, I always have to resist the urge to punch the church’s trumpet player in the face…
Seriously, why aren’t I living in Florida? Between the beaches, the weather, the golf, the no-traffic highways, their Stanley Cup championship, and the shirtless, long-bearded bum pushing a shopping cart I saw outside the church, I can’t find one negative to living down there…
The Best-man used the pharse “sex machine” in his toast, thus making it the “Best Best-Man’s Toast” Ever!!
Maydog’s 3 Favorite Movies that Involve a Wedding: 1)”Good Fellas.” 2) “The Wedding Singer.” 3) “E.T.”
When I get married, (HA! Like that’s ever happening…I mean, have you seen my website photo? I look like a mule…And not one of those fancy well-kept, ‘Juan Valdes’-esque mules either…One of the worker mules…I mean, let’s face it, the only way I’m getting married is with alcohol; lots of alcohol…Tons of alcohol…We’re talking Boris Yeltsin/Dudley Moore levels here…The girl would have to be soooo drunk that, when faced with the choice of marrying me or marrying a nice potted plant, her vision would be too impaired to tell the difference, and she’d STILL think she was marrying the plant and not me…Fucking potted plant…Think you’re so good with your leafs and your needing to be watered…God don’t me started on that jerk…UGH…)
(Oh hey now, let’s start over, shall we?)
When I get married, I want my groomsmen to dress like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…
And finally, thank you to Josh and Colleen for inviting me to Florida for the wedding and giving me an excuse to call in sick to work when I’m not really sick. Guys, thanks for the best polio I’ll ever have…
Labels: Verse of Maydogma
Quick Quote
"Can I read the paper during class?" - Maydog, asking about grad school
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Classic Rynne- None of your Business 3/31/03
Written by Josh Rynne 3/31/03
MAYDOGMA.com
“Ice is Back With a Brand New Invention”
Next time you’re at a party and you find that all the drinks are disgustingly warm, there’s no need to send somebody to the store to buy ice. “Why? Have they invented a magic cooling dust?” you might ask. And you might be a complete idiot. The answer is simple: E-Ice.com.
Founded last August by John Franks, E-Ice.com has quickly become the internet’s leading ice provider. At least in Franks’ head. The fact is E-Ice.com has yet to crack $100 of revenue during their first eight months of operations.
“The demand was not as high as I initially estimated,” Franks said. “I assumed ice-on-demand was the next Napster.”
Well, John, we all know what happens when you assume….
His website has only logged 63 hits since August 2002, 41 of which were Franks continually refreshing the page last weekend when he got bored. E-Ice.com has received 4 orders, a total of $20 in sales. Combined with the 2 t-shirt sales (his mother and father), E-Ice.com has generated $64 of revenue.
(Editor’s Note: HA! Even we make more than that! Well, no not really… –BM)
When asked how he expects to cover his costs, Franks replied, “What costs? My freezer makes the ice for me, and my grandma gave me money to register the website.”
What about shipping and packaging costs?
“Nah, the customers are supposed to come to my house to pick up their ice orders,” explains CEO and President Franks.
Clearly a solid business model. Solid.
Franks, a 1998 graduate of Purdue University’s “Wish I Could Get Into a Real College But I’m Too Dumb” program, founded E-Ice.com last August with $100 his grandma gave to him for his birthday.
“All I needed was a web page and some ice,” Franks explains. “Everything else should have just fallen into place.”
Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t fall as low as Franks’ IQ. Internet-delivered ice is not the most lucrative business, as witnessed by several failed attempts in the last several years.
In 1999, William Robertson, a 76-year-old farmer from El Paso, Texas, tried to sell ice on the internet, but forgot to factor in the intense heat of the southern state. The year 2000 saw the entrance of two internet ice deliverers to the market, only to see them quickly melt away after 2 months due to lack of market exposure.
Franks, however, believes he has learned the lessons taught by those failure stories.
“I’ve bought TV spots in 20 markets across the country and the world. There’s no way anybody is going to go one day without hearing about E-Ice.com,” claims Franks. “And I keep my ice in the freezer until they come pick it up. I’m not stupid like that Robertson fella.”
The TV ads cost Franks $1.5 million, a substantial sum, considering E-Ice.com’s revenue problems.
Franks says, “Oh, the bank just gave me that money. I don’t think I even have to pay it back! Isn’t that SWEET?”
The future of E-Ice.com is unclear. Well, actually it’s pretty obvious. Nobody can sell ice on the internet. Not even Monica’s dad on Friends. As for John Franks, he’d better find somebody to run his business (or what’s left of it) after he is jailed for not paying back his loans. Oh, John, and if you thought that ice was slippery, please please please hold on to that soap!
MAYDOGMA.com
“Ice is Back With a Brand New Invention”
Next time you’re at a party and you find that all the drinks are disgustingly warm, there’s no need to send somebody to the store to buy ice. “Why? Have they invented a magic cooling dust?” you might ask. And you might be a complete idiot. The answer is simple: E-Ice.com.
Founded last August by John Franks, E-Ice.com has quickly become the internet’s leading ice provider. At least in Franks’ head. The fact is E-Ice.com has yet to crack $100 of revenue during their first eight months of operations.
“The demand was not as high as I initially estimated,” Franks said. “I assumed ice-on-demand was the next Napster.”
Well, John, we all know what happens when you assume….
His website has only logged 63 hits since August 2002, 41 of which were Franks continually refreshing the page last weekend when he got bored. E-Ice.com has received 4 orders, a total of $20 in sales. Combined with the 2 t-shirt sales (his mother and father), E-Ice.com has generated $64 of revenue.
(Editor’s Note: HA! Even we make more than that! Well, no not really… –BM)
When asked how he expects to cover his costs, Franks replied, “What costs? My freezer makes the ice for me, and my grandma gave me money to register the website.”
What about shipping and packaging costs?
“Nah, the customers are supposed to come to my house to pick up their ice orders,” explains CEO and President Franks.
Clearly a solid business model. Solid.
Franks, a 1998 graduate of Purdue University’s “Wish I Could Get Into a Real College But I’m Too Dumb” program, founded E-Ice.com last August with $100 his grandma gave to him for his birthday.
“All I needed was a web page and some ice,” Franks explains. “Everything else should have just fallen into place.”
Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t fall as low as Franks’ IQ. Internet-delivered ice is not the most lucrative business, as witnessed by several failed attempts in the last several years.
In 1999, William Robertson, a 76-year-old farmer from El Paso, Texas, tried to sell ice on the internet, but forgot to factor in the intense heat of the southern state. The year 2000 saw the entrance of two internet ice deliverers to the market, only to see them quickly melt away after 2 months due to lack of market exposure.
Franks, however, believes he has learned the lessons taught by those failure stories.
“I’ve bought TV spots in 20 markets across the country and the world. There’s no way anybody is going to go one day without hearing about E-Ice.com,” claims Franks. “And I keep my ice in the freezer until they come pick it up. I’m not stupid like that Robertson fella.”
The TV ads cost Franks $1.5 million, a substantial sum, considering E-Ice.com’s revenue problems.
Franks says, “Oh, the bank just gave me that money. I don’t think I even have to pay it back! Isn’t that SWEET?”
The future of E-Ice.com is unclear. Well, actually it’s pretty obvious. Nobody can sell ice on the internet. Not even Monica’s dad on Friends. As for John Franks, he’d better find somebody to run his business (or what’s left of it) after he is jailed for not paying back his loans. Oh, John, and if you thought that ice was slippery, please please please hold on to that soap!
Congrats in Order
A big congratulations goes out to former Maydogma writer and current Maydogma friend Josh Rynne on his marriage last weekend.
As a 'tribute', today we run "Classic Rynne", followed by my return on Wednesday ( I promise, I really do mean it this time!)
As a 'tribute', today we run "Classic Rynne", followed by my return on Wednesday ( I promise, I really do mean it this time!)
