Friday, March 25, 2005
Whine on...
I mention this every year, but it bears repeating:
Why is it when baseball playoff games routinely finish close to midnight, everyone complains and screams “What about the children?” but no one bats an eyelash when NCAA tournament games, Super Bowls, and NBA playoff games wrap up at 12AM? I mean, I don’t really care what time it is, but why the hypocrisy?
At usual, I blame the whiny traditionalist who infect the media and believe baseball need to be a ‘pure’ sport like it was in the 50’s. These are the same people who are:
1) Against night games (so no one can watch them and kids have to skip school to attend games)
2) Against the DH (so we have the pleasure of seeing the pitcher look like a touret's patient while batting and managers taking out their best player on ridiculous double switch moves)
3) Scream “Sandy Kofax” whenever you discuss great pitchers
4) Think it’s a good, safe idea for the Red Sox to spend another 100 years playing in a 93-year-old stadium…
Just saying…
Why is it when baseball playoff games routinely finish close to midnight, everyone complains and screams “What about the children?” but no one bats an eyelash when NCAA tournament games, Super Bowls, and NBA playoff games wrap up at 12AM? I mean, I don’t really care what time it is, but why the hypocrisy?
At usual, I blame the whiny traditionalist who infect the media and believe baseball need to be a ‘pure’ sport like it was in the 50’s. These are the same people who are:
1) Against night games (so no one can watch them and kids have to skip school to attend games)
2) Against the DH (so we have the pleasure of seeing the pitcher look like a touret's patient while batting and managers taking out their best player on ridiculous double switch moves)
3) Scream “Sandy Kofax” whenever you discuss great pitchers
4) Think it’s a good, safe idea for the Red Sox to spend another 100 years playing in a 93-year-old stadium…
Just saying…
Thursday, March 24, 2005
A Verse of Maydogma: Tourney Edition
Random Thoughts After The 1st Weekend
That’s what I get for making fun of West Virginia…
Why, WHY do I always sucker myself into the Ivy League team? Damn you Pete Carrill…
It’s amazing how bad the referees are in college basketball…
Fucking SEC…
Thank God BC Lost. If Boston College had won the national championship in the same 12 month span in which the Red Sox won the World Series, and the Yankees, the NHL, and Notre Dame (twice) became national disgraces, I think I would have given up on life and become a Mormon…
Just my luck, the one time in my lifetime that Bobby Knight’s team is a juicy pick to make a run, I pick against them because their coach is Bobby Knight…I knew this was coming, but Knight had burned me too many times…Damn…
Speaking of luck, I should have just let Robert Blake fill out my bracket…
OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…
Whatever happened to flubber?
Confession Time: I thought Alabama was in the Big 12 when I picked them to win…God that was stupid…I go out of my way to pick against the SEC, and then forget which teams are in it…
On the bright side, I DID give you Brucknell over Kansas…Now THAT’S a pick to tell your grandkids about…Too bad I screwed everything else up…
Someone should have told Gerry McNamara that he was playing against Notre Dame and not Vermont. Instead of choking, he may have scored 100 pts…
I can’t believe I didn’t pick Utah…I ALWAYS pick Utah…What was I doing?
Fucking Uconn….
That’s what I get for making fun of West Virginia…
Why, WHY do I always sucker myself into the Ivy League team? Damn you Pete Carrill…
It’s amazing how bad the referees are in college basketball…
Fucking SEC…
Thank God BC Lost. If Boston College had won the national championship in the same 12 month span in which the Red Sox won the World Series, and the Yankees, the NHL, and Notre Dame (twice) became national disgraces, I think I would have given up on life and become a Mormon…
Just my luck, the one time in my lifetime that Bobby Knight’s team is a juicy pick to make a run, I pick against them because their coach is Bobby Knight…I knew this was coming, but Knight had burned me too many times…Damn…
Speaking of luck, I should have just let Robert Blake fill out my bracket…
OK, that’s it…Next year, no matter who Michigan State is playing, I’m picking them for the Elite Eight. I don’t care if Kentucky fielded a team of Shaq, Tim Duncan, Godzilla, Mothra, and Moses….I’m STILL picking Tom Izzo’s team to beat them in the second round…
Whatever happened to flubber?
Confession Time: I thought Alabama was in the Big 12 when I picked them to win…God that was stupid…I go out of my way to pick against the SEC, and then forget which teams are in it…
On the bright side, I DID give you Brucknell over Kansas…Now THAT’S a pick to tell your grandkids about…Too bad I screwed everything else up…
Someone should have told Gerry McNamara that he was playing against Notre Dame and not Vermont. Instead of choking, he may have scored 100 pts…
I can’t believe I didn’t pick Utah…I ALWAYS pick Utah…What was I doing?
Fucking Uconn….
Labels: College Basketball, Verse of Maydogma
Thursday, March 17, 2005
The Key
The key to winning an office pool (in my opinion) is not losing a more than 1 elite 8 team the opening weekend. Don't worry about the smaller upsets, those happen to everyone. If you have a decnt number of first round games correct (like 20-24), AND have points to come from 7 teams, you should should be in the hunt
Labels: College Basketball
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
MAYDOG vs March Madness, Verison 3
It’s the event that unites the sports fan and the degenerate gambler in all of us.
That’s right, it’s the 2005 NCAA Tournament…or as I call it, Groundhog Day.
The entire month of March always unfolds one of two ways:
1)I will pick most first round games correctly (like in 2003, where I got 28 right the first day); then, as expectations rise and I start getting excited about winning the pool, I’d lose every single game there after.
2)I will have a middling first round (20-24), then lose at least one Final Four team by the second round, but would still be looking good going into week 2. Then, after teasing me just long enough to make me think I’m gonna win, 2 more final four teams lose in the regional finals. My one remaining team wins the title.
Trust me, every year, no matter how much research I do and which leagues I follow, my brackets always fall into one of these two molds, with just enough heartbreak along the way.
So why do I bother? I tell you why: like I said, I'm a huge sports fan, and a degenerate gambler at heart. This event was made for me.
So, seeing as it’s my favorite column to write all year (OK…I’ll be honest, it’s fast becoming the ONLY column I write all year), MAYDOGMA presents my 3rd annual “How to lose your office pool as fast as humanly possibly” column.
-The Kentucky Rule- Pick the #1 team in the country to win it all. Hey, they’re the best team in the country. The best team ALWAYS wins. Go Illinois!!
(Oh god!! I’m actually following this one this year and picking an Illini championship. What am I doing?)
The Big Ten Rule- Develop a biased against one specific conference. Talk yourself into calling overrated. This year’s candidate: The Southeastern Conference. I hate the SEC. The entire conference is filled with up and down teams, most of which get hot just long enough to grab a ridiculously high seed. So I’m picking most SEC members to get upset in the first round. Why? Pretty much blind hatred…
(One note: You don’t know how dangerously close the Big East came to filling this spot.)
-The Big East Rule- If you watch only one conference all year, pick all the teams from that conference. For example, being a fan of Notre Dame and Villanova, I watch mostly Big East games during the regular season. So what happens in my pool? 3 Big East Teams to the Sweet Sixteen, 3 to the Elite Eight, and 1 to the Final Four. A great way to show off your “diverse” knowledge of college basketball!...However:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney. Way too many people are giving West Virginia too much credit right now, even though they've only looked impressive for 1 week the entire year. If you want to submarine your pool quickly, pick the Mountaineers...
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule- Pick your alma mater to win several games. Trust me, your favorite team ALWAYS makes a run, especially if you pick them. Doesn’t apply this year…and it’s Notre Dame’s own damn fault!
However, there is ONE exception to this rule. If you’ve an alma mater is in the tournament, and there’s a good chance they won’t be there again for another 20 years, by all means, pick them. We call this the Siena/Niagara corollary
-The Dick Vitale's Final Four picks Rule- Never pick a lower seed to win. Upsets? There are never any upsets!!
-The Indiana Rule- Pick with. Or against them. Or with them. Or against them.
Arizona: Lose when they should win, win when they should lose.
Cincinnati: Wow…has there ever been a more overrated coach than that I-should-have-been-fired-for-drunk-driving asshole Bob Huggins?
Wake Forest: Never gets to the Final Four (Hey, I’m just the messenger)
Florida: The most frustrating team of the last few years. Any year I suck myself into them, they lose to Manhattan. In fact, once Ohio beats the Gators this year, I'm renaming this the Florida Rule.
Gonzaga: I have NEVER picked a Zags games correctly.
Indiana: The MVP of this list. Fucking Corn Boys. Doesn’t apply this year…and Thank god for that.
- And one team that deserves it’s own rule, only because how you rate them ALWAYS affects your entire bracket:
- The Non-Posers Rule- Underestimate Duke. Or Don’t Underestimate Duke. Or Underestimate Duke. Which Coach K team will show up this year: the one that wins championships or the only that chokes against UCONN, Kansas, & Indiana? I never have any idea. After last year, when I thought Duke was an overrated, crappy team and ended up in the Final Four, I ready to jam a thumbtack into my eye. This year…well who really knows? Are the Blue Devils even the best team in their Conference? Of course not. So I’m picking against them again…
-The Sweater Rule- Any team coached by Bobby Knight is destined to win a few games. Come on. He’s Bobby Knight, one of the best coaches of our generation. He never loses in the first round…
-The Jane Kulm Illinois rule- Find out which STATE has the most teams from it in the tournament. Pick all those schools. A reader suggested this rule last year after she claimed to fill out her brackets using only schools located in Illinois. This year's candidate: Iowa, even though none those teams are anything special.
-The 'Hey, It could happen' rule- Pick a 16 seed to win. Something special is happening with Oakland, folks. I'm getting warm feelings thinking about them, though that could be from a spider bite.
- The Valpo rule- Mid majors suck and never win. I believe mid majors conference are overrated and the less in the tourney, the better. With that said, they always win at least 4 games. I hate them. Death to Gonzaga! Death to Southern Illinois! Death to Saint Marys! This reminds me…
- The Pinky and All-Brain Rule- Pick the Ivory League team to win. I think I do this every year for no reason whatsoever. Go Penn!
-The Boston College Rule- Pick against teams you just don’t like. The key is to use your head as little as possible. Pick with the heart, baby! This year’s candidates: MSU, N.C. State, Cincinnati, Duke. Oh and also…
- The Monkey Wretch Rule- Pick against a team you think is overrated. Base your whole bracket on the thought of them losing. This year’s team: Kansas. In January, I was ready to pick them to win the title. Then, they get blown out by Villanova and lose like 30 games coming down the stretch. So I’m picking them to be upset in the first round, even against an inferior, overmatched Bucknell team. Jesus Christ, what am I thinking?
-The 16 years of Catholic School rule- Never pick a school with the word “State” in its name. Public school is overrated…
The Never pick a school with a direction in its name. Eastern Kentucky my ass…
-The Otto the Syracuse Orange Rule- Pick the school with the better mascot. If you follow this one, Syracuse would win every year, with Florida as the runner-up…
-The UCLA in 96 / Joe Feehan in 2001 Rule- Overrate the defending champion. Just like with MSU in 2001(where I picked them to go to the finals), Maryland in 2003 (where I picked them for the final four), and Syracuse last year (where I picked them to win 3 games), I’m considering riding the Connecticut bandwagon all the way to the finals. I know it’s going to end in disappointment, but I can’t help myself.
-The Matt Doherty Rule- Pick coaches from your hometown. Long Island is known as the “cradle of coaches,” having produced several top level coaches (Rick Pitino, Jay Wright, Billy Donovan) in recent years. Should this information sway my decision come tournament time? Damn straight it should. Go Gators…
-And lastly, The St. Joe's in 2004 rule- Jump on a Bandwagon. From the makers of the Syracuse in 2003 pick (which was inspired) and the St. Joe's in 2004 pick (which was 10 seconds away from being inspired), I give your this year's team that 'everyone is banishing but I'm picking them to prove everyone wrong'....the Washington Huskies. Not one person thus far has said, “I’m picking Washington!” Well guess what? I’m picking Washington. In fact, I plan of looking smarter than all you doubters in a few weeks when the Huskies make the Final Four. There’s plenty of time to change your mind and get on the winning side. I’ll keep the window seat warm for you. Who’s with me??
(God, I’m such an idiot.)
Happy picking everyone.
That’s right, it’s the 2005 NCAA Tournament…or as I call it, Groundhog Day.
The entire month of March always unfolds one of two ways:
1)I will pick most first round games correctly (like in 2003, where I got 28 right the first day); then, as expectations rise and I start getting excited about winning the pool, I’d lose every single game there after.
2)I will have a middling first round (20-24), then lose at least one Final Four team by the second round, but would still be looking good going into week 2. Then, after teasing me just long enough to make me think I’m gonna win, 2 more final four teams lose in the regional finals. My one remaining team wins the title.
Trust me, every year, no matter how much research I do and which leagues I follow, my brackets always fall into one of these two molds, with just enough heartbreak along the way.
So why do I bother? I tell you why: like I said, I'm a huge sports fan, and a degenerate gambler at heart. This event was made for me.
So, seeing as it’s my favorite column to write all year (OK…I’ll be honest, it’s fast becoming the ONLY column I write all year), MAYDOGMA presents my 3rd annual “How to lose your office pool as fast as humanly possibly” column.
-The Kentucky Rule- Pick the #1 team in the country to win it all. Hey, they’re the best team in the country. The best team ALWAYS wins. Go Illinois!!
(Oh god!! I’m actually following this one this year and picking an Illini championship. What am I doing?)
The Big Ten Rule- Develop a biased against one specific conference. Talk yourself into calling overrated. This year’s candidate: The Southeastern Conference. I hate the SEC. The entire conference is filled with up and down teams, most of which get hot just long enough to grab a ridiculously high seed. So I’m picking most SEC members to get upset in the first round. Why? Pretty much blind hatred…
(One note: You don’t know how dangerously close the Big East came to filling this spot.)
-The Big East Rule- If you watch only one conference all year, pick all the teams from that conference. For example, being a fan of Notre Dame and Villanova, I watch mostly Big East games during the regular season. So what happens in my pool? 3 Big East Teams to the Sweet Sixteen, 3 to the Elite Eight, and 1 to the Final Four. A great way to show off your “diverse” knowledge of college basketball!...However:
-The Providence in 95/Seton Hall in 97/ Saint John's in 2000 rule- Pick a team that only looked good in the Big East tourney. Way too many people are giving West Virginia too much credit right now, even though they've only looked impressive for 1 week the entire year. If you want to submarine your pool quickly, pick the Mountaineers...
-The Rose-Colored Glasses Rule- Pick your alma mater to win several games. Trust me, your favorite team ALWAYS makes a run, especially if you pick them. Doesn’t apply this year…and it’s Notre Dame’s own damn fault!
However, there is ONE exception to this rule. If you’ve an alma mater is in the tournament, and there’s a good chance they won’t be there again for another 20 years, by all means, pick them. We call this the Siena/Niagara corollary
-The Dick Vitale's Final Four picks Rule- Never pick a lower seed to win. Upsets? There are never any upsets!!
-The Indiana Rule- Pick with
- The Non-Posers Rule- Underestimate Duke. Or Don’t Underestimate Duke. Or Underestimate Duke. Which Coach K team will show up this year: the one that wins championships or the only that chokes against UCONN, Kansas, & Indiana? I never have any idea. After last year, when I thought Duke was an overrated, crappy team and ended up in the Final Four, I ready to jam a thumbtack into my eye. This year…well who really knows? Are the Blue Devils even the best team in their Conference? Of course not. So I’m picking against them again…
-The Sweater Rule- Any team coached by Bobby Knight is destined to win a few games. Come on. He’s Bobby Knight, one of the best coaches of our generation. He never loses in the first round…
-The Jane Kulm Illinois rule- Find out which STATE has the most teams from it in the tournament. Pick all those schools. A reader suggested this rule last year after she claimed to fill out her brackets using only schools located in Illinois. This year's candidate: Iowa, even though none those teams are anything special.
-The 'Hey, It could happen' rule- Pick a 16 seed to win. Something special is happening with Oakland, folks. I'm getting warm feelings thinking about them, though that could be from a spider bite.
- The Valpo rule- Mid majors suck and never win. I believe mid majors conference are overrated and the less in the tourney, the better. With that said, they always win at least 4 games. I hate them. Death to Gonzaga! Death to Southern Illinois! Death to Saint Marys! This reminds me…
- The Pinky and All-Brain Rule- Pick the Ivory League team to win. I think I do this every year for no reason whatsoever. Go Penn!
-The Boston College Rule- Pick against teams you just don’t like. The key is to use your head as little as possible. Pick with the heart, baby! This year’s candidates: MSU, N.C. State, Cincinnati, Duke. Oh and also…
- The Monkey Wretch Rule- Pick against a team you think is overrated. Base your whole bracket on the thought of them losing. This year’s team: Kansas. In January, I was ready to pick them to win the title. Then, they get blown out by Villanova and lose like 30 games coming down the stretch. So I’m picking them to be upset in the first round, even against an inferior, overmatched Bucknell team. Jesus Christ, what am I thinking?
-The 16 years of Catholic School rule- Never pick a school with the word “State” in its name. Public school is overrated…
The Never pick a school with a direction in its name. Eastern Kentucky my ass…
-The Otto the Syracuse Orange Rule- Pick the school with the better mascot. If you follow this one, Syracuse would win every year, with Florida as the runner-up…
-The UCLA in 96 / Joe Feehan in 2001 Rule- Overrate the defending champion. Just like with MSU in 2001(where I picked them to go to the finals), Maryland in 2003 (where I picked them for the final four), and Syracuse last year (where I picked them to win 3 games), I’m considering riding the Connecticut bandwagon all the way to the finals. I know it’s going to end in disappointment, but I can’t help myself.
-The Matt Doherty Rule- Pick coaches from your hometown. Long Island is known as the “cradle of coaches,” having produced several top level coaches (Rick Pitino, Jay Wright, Billy Donovan) in recent years. Should this information sway my decision come tournament time? Damn straight it should. Go Gators…
-And lastly, The St. Joe's in 2004 rule- Jump on a Bandwagon. From the makers of the Syracuse in 2003 pick (which was inspired) and the St. Joe's in 2004 pick (which was 10 seconds away from being inspired), I give your this year's team that 'everyone is banishing but I'm picking them to prove everyone wrong'....the Washington Huskies. Not one person thus far has said, “I’m picking Washington!” Well guess what? I’m picking Washington. In fact, I plan of looking smarter than all you doubters in a few weeks when the Huskies make the Final Four. There’s plenty of time to change your mind and get on the winning side. I’ll keep the window seat warm for you. Who’s with me??
(God, I’m such an idiot.)
Happy picking everyone.
Labels: College Basketball
Schedule
I should have my "How to Screw up your pool" Article up by 9PM (maybe)...Check back later tonight...
Also, by 'popular' demand, throughout the tourney, I will analysis each day's games using the "Which team's nickname/macot would win in a knife fight" method...
Also, by 'popular' demand, throughout the tourney, I will analysis each day's games using the "Which team's nickname/macot would win in a knife fight" method...
Labels: College Basketball
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Good riddance
Well, I sure called ND losing in the first round of the NIT...Typical for this crappy team...And Chris Thomas proves to be the useless underachiever he's been for the last two year...Good riddance and enjoy the NBA D League....
Labels: College Basketball
'Sheet of Integrity'
Here is my preliminary plan for the number of sheets I will fill out: 4 sheets: 1 with my 'real picks', 1 with the exact opposite of my 'real picks', 1 where I just pick all the top seeds, and the last one where I use some ridiculously arbitrary way of doing it (aka the chick way) involving flipping a coin (not likely), picking team colors (maybe), or picking which team’s mascot would win in a knife fight (I'm leaning towards this method)...So what if this little experiment costs me like 40 bucks....
Labels: College Basketball
NIT Picks
Why no NIT pool? Oh wait...No one CARES!!
That said, Here are my picks for the NIT:
http://216.197.108.8/sj/cache/post-bracket.cfm
"Opening Round"
Rice, Davidson, Oregon State, San Fran., Western Kentucky, Houston, Buffalo, Hofstra
1st Round:
Western. Michigan (OK, I cheated on this one, the game already happened), TCU, Oral Roberts, Davidson, Boston U., Arizona St., SCU,Northeastern, Temple, Indiana, Houston, Buffalo, Clemson, Missouri, Holy Cross (And this one I made out of spite and how pissed I am at ND right now)
2nd Round:
TCU, Davidson, BU, Arizona St., Temple, Indiana, Holy Cross, Clemson
QF: TCU, Arizona St., Temple, Clemson
SF: Arizona St., Clemson
Champion: Clemson
That said, Here are my picks for the NIT:
http://216.197.108.8/sj/cache/post-bracket.cfm
"Opening Round"
Rice, Davidson, Oregon State, San Fran., Western Kentucky, Houston, Buffalo, Hofstra
1st Round:
Western. Michigan (OK, I cheated on this one, the game already happened), TCU, Oral Roberts, Davidson, Boston U., Arizona St., SCU,Northeastern, Temple, Indiana, Houston, Buffalo, Clemson, Missouri, Holy Cross (And this one I made out of spite and how pissed I am at ND right now)
2nd Round:
TCU, Davidson, BU, Arizona St., Temple, Indiana, Holy Cross, Clemson
QF: TCU, Arizona St., Temple, Clemson
SF: Arizona St., Clemson
Champion: Clemson
Labels: College Basketball
Made from Grapes
As a loyal Notre Dame fan, I would let ask all the WHINY sports writers to stop WHINING about ND fans WHINING that Notre Dame didn't get into the tournament, especially because it's not true. Everyone I have talked to agrees that it's their own damn fault that the basketball team didn't make it and NOT the commitee's.
Just saying....
Just saying....
Labels: College Basketball
Monday, March 14, 2005
A Vexed Reader
Attn: Michael Lupica, Sportwriter, NY Daily News
From: A Vexed Reader
Dear Mr. Lupica,
For the third year in a row, you have written in your weekly column and stated on one of your numerous television appearances where you pretty much just read the exact same column aloud, that you "do not want to hear about who [the reader] picked in your tournament brackets’ and ‘March Madness is all about America’s love of gambling.’
And for the third year in a row, let me congratulate you for making your point and…wait a sec, what exactly is your point? Seriously, what are you trying to achieve? I mean, the only things I can possibly think of are:
A) You hate college basketball, which is fine, if that’s your opinion, but why waste the time writing about something you hate?
B) You’re a bitter old man just trying to make everyone else feel bad
C) You’re one of those whiny ‘traditionalist’ sportswriters who prefer things the way they were in the 50’s when racism was rampant and athletes were encouraged to sleep around, or
D) You’re trying to take the fun out of watching sports and make others feel stupid for watching sports, which would make you a parasite because you couldn’t survive without sports to write about.
So please, explain what you are really trying to accomplish here, because, for the third year in a row, I feel like punching you in the face.
Sincerely,
The Editor of Maydogma
From: A Vexed Reader
Dear Mr. Lupica,
For the third year in a row, you have written in your weekly column and stated on one of your numerous television appearances where you pretty much just read the exact same column aloud, that you "do not want to hear about who [the reader] picked in your tournament brackets’ and ‘March Madness is all about America’s love of gambling.’
And for the third year in a row, let me congratulate you for making your point and…wait a sec, what exactly is your point? Seriously, what are you trying to achieve? I mean, the only things I can possibly think of are:
A) You hate college basketball, which is fine, if that’s your opinion, but why waste the time writing about something you hate?
B) You’re a bitter old man just trying to make everyone else feel bad
C) You’re one of those whiny ‘traditionalist’ sportswriters who prefer things the way they were in the 50’s when racism was rampant and athletes were encouraged to sleep around, or
D) You’re trying to take the fun out of watching sports and make others feel stupid for watching sports, which would make you a parasite because you couldn’t survive without sports to write about.
So please, explain what you are really trying to accomplish here, because, for the third year in a row, I feel like punching you in the face.
Sincerely,
The Editor of Maydogma
Labels: College Basketball
MARCH MADNESS
In an attempt to revitalize the blog, I will be posting at least 2 entries about college basketball every day for the next week, including my annual "How to screw up your Pool" column this Wenesday...Hope anyone who is still left will enjoy...
Labels: College Basketball
